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The Dragon's Wrath

Wulfgard

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#1 Maverick-Werewolf

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 01:59 AM

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The Dragon's Wrath


Here's the latest Wulfgard story (with artwork by Scorp)! It focuses on some of the main characters of The Legend of the Five.

PLEASE NOTE that the events referring to the "mage cult" in Illikon are the subject of another story that is not yet completed. The story will be posted later.
Also, this story contains some mild content (violence - of course - along with language, sensuality, and some sexual references). Don't worry, it's nothing extreme. Just a fair warning. :P

Enjoy! ;) Let me know what you think. Comments are greatly appreciated.

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#2 Prattitude

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 05:57 AM

Hey Wolfy, your link seems to be broken for me, as it takes me to some weird search engine.

#3 Maverick-Werewolf

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 07:22 AM

I don't see why that'd be the case, but try it again and let me know if it works or not. ;) Thanks for letting me know!

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#4 Jociva Flcol

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 08:46 AM

Not the Mage Cult you had posted once before?

Anyways, if LotF is written anything like this was, we're all in for a treat, and I personally cannot wait to get my hands on a copy. :D This was very good, I love the action sequences, I like how Tom's kind of a ladies-man :P

Scorp's artwork tops it all off very nicely. Very good story, Wolfy. I want more though now. :P

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#5 Amarok

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 11:08 AM

Oh, that ending! When's the sequel planned? :P

Great stuff as usual, the descriptions were quite vivid, liked that. The dialogue was also nice, it kept the story moving very evenly. I must say, the relationship between Cor and Drake was well done, very realistic...

Scorp's art work was great too, great work!

Well, I'm off to work on my Wulfgard story, Ta-Ta!

Edited by Amarok, 19 April 2012 - 10:16 PM.

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#6 Maverick-Werewolf

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 06:45 PM

Not the Mage Cult you had posted once before?

It's in the process of getting a complete revision. Scorp and I are rewriting it from scratch, so it'll be a lot better than the old one that used to be on the site.

Anyways, if LotF is written anything like this was, we're all in for a treat, and I personally cannot wait to get my hands on a copy. :D This was very good, I love the action sequences, I like how Tom's kind of a ladies-man :P

Scorp's artwork tops it all off very nicely. Very good story, Wolfy. I want more though now. :P

Thanks, Jociva! :D And yes, Tom is definitely a ladies-man, for good or ill. :P Glad you enjoyed the story (and the action, which I always seem to nitpick more than most anything else)!

I'll do my best to give you more as soon as I can, then!

Oh, that ending! When the sequel planned? :P

The sequel is LotF, my friend. :P And hopefully that'll be sometime relatively soon.

Great stuff as usual, the descriptions were quite vivid, liked that. The dialogue was also nice, it kept the story moving very evenly. I must say, the relationship between Cor and Drake was well done, very realistic...

Scorp's art work was great too, great work!

Thanks, Amarok! I'm glad you liked it. :D I'm really happy you enjoyed the character dialogue and relationships! I love writing about that sort of thing, especially the friendship that Tom, Magnus, and Corben all share. I also endlessly enjoy writing my would-be "witty" banter, although whether or not any of it is actually funny, I dunno.

Well, I'm off to work on my Wulfgard story, Ta-Ta!

Awesome! Looking forward to it.


Thanks for commenting, guys! I really appreciate it. :) Keep 'em coming! I've been looking forward to hearing what people think of this story.

There's lots of foreshadowing and various other important things scattered throughout this, whether they're well hidden or not, as well as setting up a lot of situations for the first LotF book. I figured this story might also be a good way to help people get acquainted with Tom, Magnus, and Corben, since the three of them are so important, yet they haven't appeared in any stories available on the site so far (except the old mage cult story, which, like I said, is being rewritten).

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#7 Lightning Bolt

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 10:32 PM

You are rather good at providing character backstories without branching off from the main story, making it really convenient to read, and letting everyone know what they need to about Tom Drake, Magnus and the other characters, without saying everything. I'm loving the dialogue and the action, and... pretty much everything about it, actually. Awesome artwork, too!

Anyways, that was a lot of fun to read, and I can't wait until you get the book finished. :)

#8 Prattitude

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 10:34 PM

Simply marvelous Wolfy! I particularly loved the dialouge and the way you describe action sequences! If this is how you'll be writing LOTF, then consider my book reserved :D

#9 Oufy

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:37 AM

This is great! I especially liked, "I'd rather read a book. At least they're interesting." :lol:
The way you describe things is brilliant. Where places you could put "They fought" you described in detail how they fought. Man, that's a good story.

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#10 Spider-Man

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:23 AM

Very well done! I don't really have anything to add to the above, but I hope I can write my novel as smoothly.. mostly in the area of backstory, which as somebody pointed out, you seem to have virtually mastered.

#11 Bobafettmaniac

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:30 AM

Very Interesting! Can't wait for this to hit print!

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#12 Gryphon

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:28 PM

I enjoyed it greatly, as I usually have all your writings. Love the fight scenes too, as seems to be the general consensus here. Full review in our PM...
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#13 El Taco

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Posted 21 April 2012 - 05:16 AM

Finally. :P

Anyway, quite well done. I liked the story, and that big-ass helmet, and it`s good to have some degree of insight as to what the protagonists of LOTF will be like. Plus jousts and stuff are always cool so you know.

As for criticisms, I was going to say that your dialogue doesn`t really seem...natural, even for medieval/roman speech. On the other hand I basically criticize everyone about that, so it's occurred to me that the problem may actually just be me. *Shrug* Consider it if you will. It wasn't a big detraction.

Anyway, overall I approve, for whatever that's worth. :P Good job.

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#14 Horatius

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Posted 21 April 2012 - 08:19 AM

Well, my first thoughts have pretty much been covered above. Interesting story, good action, nice character development. I really enjoyed it and loved the insight to the people of importance for LOTF. My criticisms are few and minor, but I'm guessing that criticism is part of the reason you welcome comments. Anyway, I'm fine with the modern language instead of Ye Olde Englishe, but some of the dialogue seemed...out of place. I won't complain about the swears for vulgarity's sake, since that's just realistic for soldiers in such tense situations. But I felt that "asshole" is too modern a word. There are a few like that (dumbass, retard, ****tard) that I feel should be replaced with more classic ones (bastard, bitch, ye saucey wench) to give the setting more of a timeless feeling.

That was really all that stuck out to me negatively; I thought the story was great. I hope LOTF is finished soon!

Then out spake brave Horatius,

The Captain of the Gate:

"To every man upon this earth Death cometh soon or late.

And how can man die better

Than facing fearful odds,

For the ashes of his fathers,

And the temples of his gods."

 


#15 Florent

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Posted 21 April 2012 - 03:20 PM

I'm interested in what you plan to do with Drake's character. Something that was a tad bit lacking from Scorp's books was an arc for the main characters, they sort of stayed in the same mindset throughout the books :P. (There was obviously more of an arc in NRWB)

Great story! Looking forward to buying LotF!

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#16 Werewolf King

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Posted 22 April 2012 - 07:15 AM

I really like the writing in this story, but I have mized feelings about the story itself. I know you explained the decorative armor, but my imagination flinched away whenever you described how massive it was. They also swore a bit much for my taste, and I completely skipped the 'sex scene'.
I liked how you defined Drake, though (I always thought of him being like Drake in Uncharted. Just a constant stream of sarcastic comments. And I just realized the irony in that comment)

I really like the fights, though.
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#17 Maverick-Werewolf

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Posted 22 April 2012 - 09:11 AM

Thanks for the comments, guys! It's great to hear what you all thought, and I'll take all criticisms of my writing into account. And I can't tell you guys how glad I am that some of you are looking forward to LotF! :D I can't wait to get it out there!

Also, I'd really like to know what you guys thought of the story and characters themselves, too. Particularly the characters, as I've been eagerly awaiting to introduce some of my important characters (especially Tom, Magnus, and Corben) before the release of LotF, and I'd like to know peoples' thoughts and impressions in regard to them and the story.


On the subject of dialogue, the reason it often sounds more modern is because that's simply how I write it. It's fully intentional. I may change this in future stories, but as of right now, I enjoy writing the characters this way (some in particular), and I think it helps bring out their personalities better. Call it my style, if you will.

As for addressing a few other specific complaints...

There are a few like that (dumbass, retard, ****tard) that I feel should be replaced with more classic ones (bastard, bitch, ye saucey wench) to give the setting more of a timeless feeling.

The complaint with "asshole," I can understand, and I'll certainly take into account. But uh, you realize I didn't use any of your example words in my story at all, right? :P I write a lot of my dialogue in a more modern style, but I definitely still draw lines. I certainly wouldn't go so far as to use the term "retard" in a medieval fantasy story.

I know you explained the decorative armor, but my imagination flinched away whenever you described how massive it was. They also swore a bit much for my taste, and I completely skipped the 'sex scene'.

Really? Tournament armor was pretty massive. It was made to be massive, since knights didn't require great mobility when jousting (although the suits were still surprisingly mobile from what I hear, and they were clearly made with extra protection around the joints while still retaining some mobility), but they did require lots of heavy protection.

As for the swearing and sensuality, sorry if it offended you. There's only one curse word in the entire story that isn't considered very "mild," though, by most standards. But everyone has a different outlook on that sort of thing, so anyway, sorry about that. I do try to keep it to a minimal, but given certain character personalities and whatnot, I do still drop a swear on occasion.

And since you didn't read it, I just wanted to make sure you're aware that there wasn't anything raunchy in the "sex scene." I'm not that kind of writer. I've seen worse in many video games and movies that you've probably played/seen, in fact. By movie rating standards, the term for anything in this story would simply be "sensuality." :P


Anyway, as I said, thanks for the comments, guys! I really appreciate all of you reading it and letting me know your thoughts. Like I said, though, feel free to elaborate on your feelings about the story and characters. Criticizing the raw writing is all fine and good, but I like hearing your thoughts on the actual story/character elements as well, which very few people really elaborated on at all. ;)

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#18 Prattitude

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Posted 22 April 2012 - 09:42 AM

Beautifully written story, Wolfy. Of course I said more via PM, but it really gave me some good insight into Tom Drake's personality, whereas before I just kind of saw him as a Han Solo like character, which is great! I'm just glad that he's so much more than that, and that we get to see his strengths and weaknesses displayed in the story.

I also really enjoyed the very simple setting. Despite Tom mentioning that he slew a Demon too many times to count (curse that ego of his! :P) the story really had a very common idea. A small tournament with some jousting, a very common enemy to face (not some giant life sucking monster to slay) and a very realistic portrayal of the dividing lines between the commoners and nobility of Illikon really helped pull me in and get lost in the exceptionally well executed writing style.

I'm looking forward to more now, Wolfy/Jade/Maverick, so don't you let me down. ;)


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#19 Horatius

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Posted 23 April 2012 - 01:13 AM

The complaint with "asshole," I can understand, and I'll certainly take into account. But uh, you realize I didn't use any of your example words in my story at all, right? :P I write a lot of my dialogue in a more modern style, but I definitely still draw lines. I certainly wouldn't go so far as to use the term "retard" in a medieval fantasy story.


Of course! Sorry, I should have pointed out that I was naming a few words that I felt were similarly modern, if much more obviously inappropriate, than asshole. I was just trying to exaggerate to make my point clear; don't worry, I didn't actually think you'd used them. At least my comment made an impression! :P


EDIT: I have to ask, was the ceremonial dragon-helm inspired by the Hound?

Then out spake brave Horatius,

The Captain of the Gate:

"To every man upon this earth Death cometh soon or late.

And how can man die better

Than facing fearful odds,

For the ashes of his fathers,

And the temples of his gods."

 


#20 Maverick-Werewolf

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Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:53 AM

Yeah, I did see that, Tommy. :P Thanks for the details on your thoughts! I love hearing 'em.

EDIT: I have to ask, was the ceremonial dragon-helm inspired by the Hound?

What can I say? Yes, it is. I don't even read or watch Game of Thrones, but Scorp does, so he relayed to me how awesome the Hound's helm is - and pretty much everything else to do with the series. Anyway, I've always liked animal-head helms and things like that (just ask anyone who knows me from when I played NWN online), so I just rolled with it.

So ah, any particular thoughts on the characters? How were your impressions of them? Just, y'know, wondering how well I conveyed them, and if they were likable at all. :P I have a real problem with wondering who everyone's favorite character(s) are, and if I conveyed their characters the way I was trying to... it makes me wonder the impressions people get of certain characters, like Tom.

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