Posted 01 July 2008 - 08:36 AM
Forum Wars Episode I: A Base in Distress
In a galaxy far, far away, on the planet Zanitar, we find our hero Falcon at a droid shop making a purchase...
Part I: A Meeting of Sorts
Store Owner: That'll be 300 Credits please.
F: You accept dollar bills?
Store Owner: *mumbles* Fine, fine...
*Falcon hands the store owner $300*
*Store Owner activates assassin droids*
Store Owner: Well, here are your assassin droids, I made them myself you know.
F: Umm, thanks...I guess...
Store Owner: Have a nice day. Ya all come back now.
F: *mumbles* Like I'd ever come back to this dump. What kind of store dosen't even have 4 walls.
Store Owner: What was that?
F: Uh, yeah, sure I'll come back!
*15 minutes later*
F: *Panting* Now why in the world did I park 10 miles away from that store?
Droid 1: Because you are an idiot.
F: Shut up you. Your lucky I even bought you. Anyway, you two can enter the ship from the top. Ships called Liberator by the way. Ain't she a beaut?
Droid 1: Lucky isn't the word I would use. I wouldn't use beaut either...
*Moniter starts beeping*
F: Well looks like we got ourselves a distress call from the Red, White, and Blue Outpost. Offering 1500 Credits too. Hmmm, with that money maybe I could buy myself some decent droids.
Droids: *mumble naughty words*
*Engines start and the Liberator takes off*
*1 hour later the Liberator approaches the RWB Outpost*
Droid 1: I thought you said this ship was fast.
F: I never said that, and quit your complaining. This ship is plenty fast. *Radio Noise* This is Falcon requesting permission to land.
Outpost Operator: Roger that, permission granted. Land your craft in Sector B7.
*Liberator comes in for a landing*
*Commander Jinkins, commander of the RWB outpost, approaches the ship*
CJ: Glad you could make it Mr. Falcon. We need all the help we can get.
F: Well the reward was nice. Hey wait a minute, aren't you guys suppose to be in distress?
CJ: Yes...well sort of...we will be...just follow me inside. It'll all make sense then.
*Falcon follows Commander Jinkins*
CJ: *To guards* Guard the doors.
F: So where's the command center of the base.
CJ: Umm, well you see we...we never put one in, ran out of room...
F: Oh. *mumbles* wow this place might even be worse than the droid store...
CJ: Have a seat.
F: Uhh, I'm kind of stuck. Who in the world designed this place anyway? This has got to be one of the most horribly designed places in the galaxy!
CJ: I, designed...this...place...
*CJ turns on view screen*
CJ: As you can see, our intelligence has reported that an attempt by the Empire will be made to take over this outpost.
F: *Thinks to himself* What kind of idiot would want this place???
F: Commander, if I may speak freely.
CJ: Permission granted.
F: Your data looks like ancient hieroglyphics. Actually, it's more like a bunch of scribbles on a piece of paper.
CJ: Uhh, yeah well you see, it's the RWB secret code, yeah thats it. Only commanders can decipher it using our higher intellect.
F: Well in that case I should have no problem deciphering it.
CJ: Now then, you are one of five who answered our call. Let me introduce you to the rest before we get ourselves ready.
F: So you think me meeting the others who answered your call, is more important than us getting the outpost ready for an attack?
F: *mumbles* Maybe I should have ignored that call...
CJ: Here are the others. From left to right, Saber-Scorpion, Syn, Master Chief, and Xerxes Fett. I'm sure you've heard or some of them before.
F: Actually no, no I haven't...
SS: Well hello there. You were stupid enough to answer the call too?
CJ: Well now that we all know eachother, lets form a plan. Now I think that we sho-
*Loud Siren goes off*
Outpost Operator: We are under attack, I repeat we are under attack. Everyone report to your stations. This is not a drill, I repeat this is not a drill.
CJ: Oh this looks bad, we don't even have a plan!
F: Next time, I would do introductions last.
*Everyone rushes out of the base to attack*
XF: Commander, shouldn't you tell the people rushing out the doors to their deaths what to do once they get out their?
CJ: Oh I already told them what to do, it's all in basic training.
MC: And what exactly is it that you told them?
CJ: Just shoot at anything that shoots you first.
F: So you told them to shoot the guy that is going to kill them, after they've killed them.
XF: You sure this isn't a mental institution by chance?
*Troops run outside*
Troop Leader: Let's get em boys. We ain't scared! No empire fools gonna beat us!
*Troops stop abruptly...they also pee their pants*
Troop Leader: Oh...My...God...
*The enemy is revealed*
Troop 1: Boss...can we be scared now?
Troop 2: *Crying in a whiny voice* I don't want to die in my pee pee pants!
Imperial Officer: Vire zee main cannonz!
*Cannon noise heard in the background followed by gun shots*
Troop Leader: MMMOOOMMMYYY!!!
*Head lands next to Commander Jinkins*
CJ: Oh dear me, this is bad. He was the best troop we had.
F: No Xerxes, this isn't a mental intitution. It's the military for "special" people.
CJ: Ok, well here's the plan. You guys suit up and then go kill the bad guys while I sit here in the base watching TV.
F: I should have stayed home today...
*5 minutes later*
CJ: Ok now that your all ready you can go kill the bad dudes! Oh and I've been working on a plan while you were away.
F: Oh really?
CJ: Yeah! You burst through the front door and start shooting the evil guys!
Droid 1: It dosen't seem possible, but this man might be even stupider than our owner.
*Everyone rushes for the door. Surprisingly they're actually following Jinkins plan*
F: That is one-
Droid 1: Master, why are the troops pointing their guns at the man in front of them?
F: I think their helmets are too big.
Imperial Officer: VIRE ZEE MAIN CANNONZ!
SS: Did he just say to-?
Droid 2: Is that guy French?
Well, that's it for now. I'll try to keep posting as often as possible.
Avatar courtesy of Harry Monster
Posted 01 July 2008 - 12:50 PM
Takes regular visits to sweater town.
Posted 02 July 2008 - 02:46 AM
There's a new one, with lot's of broken links. I would say good comic but, you didin't make it.
So what happened to Master Chief?
Posted 02 July 2008 - 03:56 AM
Keep it fresh.
Posted 02 July 2008 - 05:43 AM
Posted 02 July 2008 - 06:18 AM
I haven't reposted it yet... and there are three Episodes, not six.
Oh, and Fred Red, I have it saved on a USB... and I have two USBs... so I have plenty of room to spare.
Avatar courtesy of Harry Monster
Posted 02 July 2008 - 06:38 AM
Posted 03 July 2008 - 08:50 AM
[Insert ominous voice] Fear the whispers for one day they may be for you [end ominous voice/]
Me: Who was that and when more comic?
Posted 03 July 2008 - 09:01 AM
Posted 04 July 2008 - 10:34 PM
Avatar courtesy of Harry Monster
Posted 04 July 2008 - 11:26 PM
Posted 05 July 2008 - 02:48 AM
Why's everyone talking crap about MC? Insulted the forums? What have I missed?
Posted 05 July 2008 - 10:55 PM
I don't remember that either. I thought he just said he was selling his Legos, which he did and then he just faded away.
"Do you still love her?"
"Almost as much as I hate her."
Posted 07 July 2008 - 11:58 PM
... Have you ever considered not everyone's a clone of you? As in, we have different senses of humour...
Anyways, I liked it. I trie to save it before shut-down, but the page never showed up for me... :/
Posted 09 July 2008 - 12:43 PM
Still good the second time though.
Posted 28 March 2009 - 11:00 AM
A pity. I liked Forum Wars and wanted to re-read it.
Oh, and Billybobjoe, if you don't like it, don't read it.
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users