Jump to content


Ocelot

Member Since 07 Apr 2008
Offline Last Active Today, 09:41 PM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: SSLF's #1 Reylo Shipping Thread, feat. Star Wars

Today, 09:35 PM

Edit: "Reyinn", really? Major fail for whoever did the latest poll. Rey+Finn's portmanteau name should clearly be "FRey." Or "FiRey" (pronounced 'fiery').  :D

 

No, it's definitely Reyinn. Like 'rain'. Like, "Hey, sorry to Reyinn on your parade, Rey/Finn shippers, but she's clearly in love with Kylo Ren".

 

Remember when it was 100% canon that Kylo sent Rey such hot shirtless pics through Forcechat that she literally packed herself up and mailed herself to him in a box? Not even Legends. Not even EU. Straight up, pure, uncut canon, baby.


In Topic: SSLF's #1 Reylo Shipping Thread, feat. Star Wars

Today, 08:08 AM

Oh hey you guys, I just watched this really old movie called The Empire Strikes Back, and, I don't know, I guess it was fine if you like that kind of thing, but personally I can't enjoy a movie that has so many PUHLAAAAAWTHOOOOOLES.

 

- It starts off with Luke riding around this dangerous ice planet on some dumb muppet or something, and then, almost immediately, he gets clobbered by a giant ice monster. Yet it's clearly shown that there are big floating snow cars back at their base, so why wouldn't he just be driving one of those around? What an obvious contrivance. Oh, but I guess we're just supposed to ignore Saturday morning cartoon level writing like that, right? Psh.

 

- Luke is left hanging from the icy ceiling of the monster's cave (I guess the monster has ice powers too? Gimme a break...), and we see him struggle to pull his lightsabre to him. Struggle! Wookieepedia clearly states that it has been three years since A New Hope; are we to believe he still hasn't mastered this simplest of Jedi techniques all that time later?

 

- Why would the Empire land so far away from the Rebel base? They could just have dropped their AT-ATs closer and they would have easily killed all the Rebels. And why would they use walking machines that have such long legs that could be tripped so easily? It doesn't take a genius to know the Rebels would just try and knock them over. They should have used tanks.

 

- So Luke just accidentally lands right next to Yoda's hut on Dagobah? A whole planet, and he hits not just the right continent, not just the right post code, but like ten feet away? That's too unbelievable, I'm sorry.

 

- WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE THEM FLY INTO A SPACE WORM? What a waste of time! What, they just accidentally fly in and then fly straight out again? It adds nothing to the movie. Ugh.

 

- Luke goes into a spooky cave full of snakes (uh, shouldn't they be alien species? What is this just on Earth or something?) and fights Darth Vader in slow motion like it's The Matrix or something. Star Wars doesn't use slow motion. Didn't they even watch A New Hope?

 

- Alright, the dumbest part of all: Han Solo tricks the whole Empire by just landing on the back of a Star Destroyer and nobody is clever enough to work out what's going on? He's right there! You could just look out the space window and see him! I can't believe they expect us to believe the Empire would fall for such a stupid trick.

 

- There just happens to be a planet nearby for Han Solo to reach, that just happens to be run by an old friend of his. Yeah, OK, whatever. But did this planet also have to be the slapstick comedy planet, where C-3PO gets sworn at by a silver C-3PO, and then some gross little goblins play keepaway when Chewie tries to pick up all his bodyparts? Threepio ruins literally every scene with his stupid 'comedy' lines. Even when Han Solo is getting frozen he just yaps away about how he can't see. It totally goes against the tone of the scene.

 

- Why would Darth Vader blast Luke out that window when he was trying to keep him alive to bring him to the Emperor? And why didn't he just Force Pull Luke back up to the platform after Luke jumped off? He should have just got someone to bring him the schematics of Cloud City to see where that shaft led so he could go and get Luke.

 

- And then, what, Luke saves himself by just calling out to Leia? Like the Force is a walkie talkie or something? Talk about your deus ex machinas. Oh, and they just give him a new hand at the end? What was the point of him losing it, then?

 

So yeah, I mean, I guess it had strong characters and enjoyable writing and you could conceivably have a fun time if you just turned your brain off, but if you judge it by the only parameter that matters, which is of course whether the nitty-gritty details of its plot are 100% airtight when exposed to scrutiny, you'll see it clearly falls well short. Y'know, these blockbuster movies are so lazy these days, just sold to the slobbering masses who want their popcorn and their special effects. I'm sorry, but I like a bit of effort put into my movies.

 

Spoiler


In Topic: SSLF's #1 Reylo Shipping Thread, feat. Star Wars

16 January 2018 - 05:02 AM

Rey is the rebellious teen daughter who wants to follow the guidance of her father figure, Luke, but feels inexorably drawn to the bad boy in her life, Kylo Ren. Kylo, for his part, feels that same desire, that forbidden love for a girl from the wrong side of the tracks. Luke catches the two of them together and explodes with anger, but Rey defies her father and runs out of the house to meet her true love. Kylo isn't quite ready to give in and tells his Dad (Snoke) about them, but when Snoke forces him to break up with her, Kylo realises that he truly loves Rey. With both their fathers out of the way, they throw caution to the wind and have wild, uninhibited (metaphorical) sex in the throne room.
 
The Last Jedi: A Star Wars Love Story... from a certain point of view.

In Topic: SSLF's #1 Reylo Shipping Thread, feat. Star Wars

15 January 2018 - 12:47 AM

Delivery for SSLF. It says it's "Your new favourite gif" and it's from "Your pal Ocelot"? Sign here, please.

 

m3yqQe1.gif


In Topic: What Are You Currently Playing?

14 January 2018 - 09:50 PM

Alright, baby, this morning I finally, finally finished Dai Gyakuten Saiban, a.k.a. The Great Ace Attorney. I don't want to seem like I'm glad it's over, since I really enjoyed it, but oh man it took me forever! 68 hours, according to me 3DS's Activity Log, more than twice as long as any other Ace Attorney game. Going by what I've read, it doesn't actually seem like an especially long game for native Japanese speakers, but because it's an entirely-Japanese game set between Victorian London and post-Restoration Japan, there's a whole lot of period-specific language and grammar I had to teach myself along the way in order to understand it, so half that playtime was probably me using a dictionary :P

 

So, for those of you who don't remember the last post I made about this game (which was in NOVEMBER last year oh God I've been playing this game forever), this game is about an ancestor of Phoenix Wright, Ryunosuke Naruhodou, and his adventures as a law exchange student in London. You do the typical Ace Attorney thing of investigating cases and defending your clients, with some minor changes to the standard rhythm (London has juries that you'll have to convince, for example). You become besties with Sherlock Holmes, meet a whole cast of wonderfully quirky, off-beat characters, feel that brilliantly video-game-y feeling of solving the case alongside your characters and nailing the bad guy with a perfectly delivered "OBJECTION!" (or in this case "意義あり!"). It's really good. Dai Gyakuten Saiban was written and directed by Shu Takumi, the fellow who created Ace Attorney in the first place but left the main series after the first three games and... well, I think it shows? I enjoyed DGS more than AA4, 5 or 6, at least. I don't know if it's quite as good as the original three games, but I also don't want to go comparing one single game to a trilogy.

 

What I do want to do is immediately play the sequel, though, because DGS 1 leaves a few tantalising plot threads hanging that I can't wait to see followed up on. It's not exactly a cliffhanger, but there are various story threads in the game that get built up and then don't end up going anywhere, and from what I've heard they're all solved in the sequel, so I'll be starting that tonight.

 

I also played a chunk of Xenoblade Chronicles 2 on that there Nintendo Switch, and it seems like a good one of those games. I played the first ten hours or so and I liked them, but I don't think I want to play another 90 hours. It's just really not what I'm in the mood for right now, I suppose. Much like the first Xenoblade, it's a gigantic RPG, with enoooormous levels for you to traverse between towns, giant monsters for you to kill, a fun story full of anime tropes for you to enjoy and a nice cast of characters to bro out with. I really don't like the art style, but it can be a very pretty game when it wants to be. It can also be surprisingly ugly at times, with one of those adaptive resolution systems that feels like it can drop right down to 480p when the going gets tough. The first giant open-world vista you see genuinely looks like something from an early 360 game; it's kind of a shame they couldn't squeeze some more performance out of the Switch.

 

I really enjoy the multi-accented cast, probably more than anything else in the game. Your main dude is a Northerner, but you quickly meet a girl with a wonderfully thick Welsh accent, and a big guy who sounded like a for-realsies Aussie to me, not just your standard American doing what he thinks is an Australian accent. There's one bad guy lady with a posh Scottish accent, and then her underlings have decidedly-less posh Scottish brogues. There's a whole section of the game where you fight through an airship full of soldiers who just constantly cycle through the only two soundbytes they have: "THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME?" and "DON'T FORGET ME!" in angry Scottish accents, and it's a treat for the ears:

 

 

The combat system is pretty interesting, much the same as XC1 but this time you have to stand still for your auto-attacks to come out. Your special moves build up as your auto-attacks connect, and there's no mana pool or consumable items so there's no reason not to use them. The special moves hit harder if you time them to when an auto-attack connects, but then you have to decide whether you can afford to wait or if you want to blast them immediately. Then you get some ultra-special attacks that you can combo with your AI partners, but only certain elemental affinities can combo with other ones and it seems like it's mostly down to picking the right team of three party members. It seems like more than enough complexity to keep you going for a 100 hour playthrough, though.

 

So I played up to the end of Chapter 3, but I think I'm probably going to scrub through a Youtube playthrough to see the more important story beats from here on because I just don't have the time for such a long game right now. I could just feel my patience starting to drain when one of the characters laid out our plan to assault the enemy airship... but then told me I had to go and find some parts for him to finish his robot buddy before could go and do it. Oh JRPGs; I know fans of the genre don't mind this stuff, but I just can't face it right now :P

 

I've been blasting through some Wolfenstein The New Order, too, and it's great. It's remarkable just how much better at this video game business Machine Games has become between this game and The New Colossus in a few short years. The New Order looks downright ugly at times, whereas The New Colossus is a gorgeous game, and they've become so much more confident in their storytelling, too. I don't mean to dump on The New Order, because I am enjoying it a lot, but I just think it's crazy that these dudes got so good at making video games so quickly.