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Part 7: Mo' Explanations!

Posted by Nightstalker, 08 April 2017 · 6,766 views

Hello, once again, SSLFers!
Thank you for joining me on yet another explanation of Fantasy Funnies. A couple of quick updates real quickly. First off, Fantasy Funnies will be happening next weekend. Last weekend I took the day off. Also, you might have noticed that I didn't update Minifig Showcase yesterday. Don't worry, it's not on hold because of the contest. Given a recent 12 hour work day, I was pretty much out of it all Friday! Anywho, excuses aside, let's get this started!
61) Black Heroes
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- Among the many things in fantasy that happen, this is one that particularly hits me. Do black heroes even exist? Sure they exist whenever I create a character in a game, but outside of that, I really don't think they exist. I mean, sure, you might see the occasional mercenary, slave, or some unnamed civy running around, but when is the last time you saw him as the main hero? Now, what honestly bothers me about this is that it doesn't really stop here. There are multiple races that don't ever seem to have a place in a lot of fantasy settings. Books, TV, and games typically omit humans of varying skin color. Or, as I stated earlier, if they do have them, they're typically in low positions. Now, I'm going to ruin another Fantasy Funny, that won't ever exist (probably), but this is even worse when you consider heroines! There are few enough of them in existence already, but given the way heroes are, I feel like it will be an outrageously long time before I see a black heroine in a fantasy setting. Anyways, moving back on track, it's just something that strikes me as odd, and somewhat bothersome. I feel like most people don't ever notice this, so I decided to point it out and see if I could bring this to light. Now, before anyone tries to start some kind of epic debate in here, keep in mind that I'm merely stating an observation from my time in the fantasy genre. This is just one of the myriad of things I have noticed. Nuff' said.
62) A Question About Damsels
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- Have you ever noticed in fantasy that the damsel in distress is almost always some young woman that will end up hooking up with the hero? I mean, what if she already had a lover or better yet was married? I would honestly love to see the damsel just shut the hero down right in the middle of his game! Maybe I'm the only one who wants to see that. Nobody would ever see that one coming. Now that I'm looking at this, I really should have placed an alarmed face on the hero. He looks like he's happy to hear that she's taken. Oh well!
63) Fighting the Final Boss as the Nth Boss
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- Okay folks, show of hands, who has ever played a game where you encounter the final boss as an actual fight, super early in the game (no seriously raise your hand if you have)? I can see a couple of hands out there. Thank you, you can put them down. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, certain old games would have you encounter the final boss, super early in the game. Now, when you run into him/her, you typically get to attack first. When you attack, you start seeing pathetic damage numbers. Congratulations, this is the part of the story where the main villain swoops down from his throne to give you and your nooblet team a solid thrashing. So, you think you can grind up to a high enough level prior to the encounter? Nope! You'll still get one shotted. To make matters worse, usually this is the part of the game where a teammate gets removed from your party forever. They'll usually die or get captured, leaving you with everyone else. And no, it's never the person that's the weakest on the team, it is usually the person who seems to have the most experience (i.e. the sage, the veteran soldier, that awesome heroine with the dual laser boomerangs that I spent 20k on). Yes this is done for story purpose, and you can't help but have that, "OH $#!@!" moment when this happens. Once it happens to you once, you definitely keep your eyes peeled for more of these little incidents.
64) Messing with Centaurs
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- Do I really need to explain this one? Alright. How even? Did a man do it with a horse? Did a woman do it with a horse? Is this some kind of sick joke by whatever deities exist? Is this an alien mutation? Okay, let's assume that this is just natural. Who/what gives birth to a centaur? And if these half men/horse creatures exist, what keeps other half men/animal creatures from existing? There are far too many questions to ask, and not nearly enough time to answer all of them. I'm certain you asked the question at least once in your journey through fantasy!
65) Invisibility Potions and Gear
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- Whenever I'm not allowed to smite evil as a paladin, you can typically find me playing as a stealthy rogue or some form of a ranger. Among the many tools I carry with me are very items to help me remain undetected, such as invisibility potions. But one day, something bothered me about them. How exactly was something I drank, affecting the visibility of my clothes? Potions typically affect the person that consumes them. You drink a health potion, your wounds begin to heal. You drink a potion of strength, your muscles get bigger, allowing you to hit harder or carry more equipment. So, you'd think that invisibility potions follow the same idea. You drink it, and you become invisible. But wait, it also turns your gear invisible! How does that work? If it followed the same pattern as the others, you'd get the above picture, meaning that true invisibility, via potions, would require one to strip down to remain undetected. The reason why I'm messing with this concept is because the spell version of this is actually plausible (as far as fantasy is concerned). The spell is cast on the user, which means they could cast it on an object and make it invisible, allowing them to make their gear invisible. "But Nightstalker, what if the potion's effect extends to anything connected to the consumer?" Yeah, I thought about that, and it still doesn't make sense. Even if you went with that, shouldn't the world just turn invisible since you have direct contact with the ground? Someone should really reconsider the concept of invisibility potions affecting gear. It sure would make using them for stealth much more risky.
66) Guild Names
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- First off, shout out to SYWBAA and the Disciples of Righteous Conquest! If you don't know what I'm referring to then what's wrong with you!? GO READ SYWBAA NAOW! With that being said, have you joined a guild in an MMO? I bet you have. They're the best way to sync up with people and take on the great challenges of the world! So then, to which guild will you pledge your allegiance? You have the King's Legion, a band of former adventurers who raid the great enemy and take down powerful bosses throughout the week. You have the Wardens, a group of folks who gear up to slay adventurers on the opposite faction. You have... umm... Downtown Leet Clowns, who also raid the great enemy. Oh, and this group is called the Mongoloid Gankers. Umm... okay. Now, this isn't to say that those guilds aren't good, but some of them have the dumbest names I have ever seen. It's clear that not everyone gets absorbed into the lore and mythos of the game, but still they are just bad sometimes. Honestly, I'm curious to know what terrible guild names you've seen out there. I still think one of the most ridiculous ones I've seen was, "We'll Bang Okay."
67) How to Break Nightstalker's Immersion
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- THIS! This... is one of my most hated video game scenarios of all time. My hero/heroine who I have poured hours of my time into can mop the floor with dozens of soldiers at a time. Even the so called "elite" units just get their butts whooped! I just get out of the biggest fight I've had yet, which I got through with little dings in my armor, only for the next cut scene to trigger. In this scene, apparently my character is taking on four guards while the rest of my party escapes. Okay, no problem, watch him go an... wait, why are those guards kicking the crap out of character. Wait, did they just knock me out? How even!? Hold the phone here! Your telling me that I just got my @$$ kicked by the same chumps I've been whooping in this zone! Oh that's fabulous, and now they're taking all of my stuff to! So now I'm captured! I detest when games do this, because I immediately question why this is even plausible. You just made me go through a large battle against 20+ baddies, yet 4 guards is apparently too tough for my character to handle. What's worse is that this completely breaks my immersion in the game because I know that this isn't even remotely possible. That's almost the equivalent of me sinking a ship by chucking an iron dagger at it! It just drives me crazy!
68) Magic!
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- I'm just going to throw out my stance on magic. Magic is pretty darn overpowered regardless of the game you play. Magic users just tear through everything with a wide variety of spells and abilities that are jaw droppingly powerful. Even in games that have a lot of magic resistant enemies, such as Dark Souls, magic is still a very viable and powerful option. I feel like most fantasy classes can be enhanced by adding magic to it. See that knight over there *adds magic* -BAM!- that knight is now a spellsword/paladin/dark knight/etc. See that thief over there *adds magic* -BAM!- that thief is now a nightblade/shadowblade/etc. You know magic is seriously OP since a lot of stories seem to limit the number of people that use it. Magic seems to have two standards: a lot of people have it, but very few are really skilled with it, or few have it, but those that do have it are the Grand Arch Magus Pimpus. Need I say more?
69) The Evil Monologue
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- Why don't the heroes ever attack the villain while he's in a monologue? Well, that's because the heroes are frozen and the villain gains full immunity to all forms of damage! I have always wanted to just stop a villain in their tracks by just attacking them in the middle of their monologue. Unfortunately, few games ever allow me to do this. Apparently being a hero/heroine requires that I not interrupt people in the middle of a sentence. Never mind that this is the great evil of the world, that kicked the crap out of me early in the game, and killed the awesome vet that was on my team. I have to wait till you finish up before we can fight. It would be one thing if they were talking about something important, but nine times out of ten, they are just going on a rant about how futile your attempt will be. Then they'll move on to how much better the world will be with them in control. Add in something about only those that are strong in whatever power are capable of ruling. Add in something about your deceased parent that failed to stop him. Add in something about the player character's demise. Seriously, just shut up! Out of all the times where I could be rude, this is absolutely the time to be rude! Just kill the guy!
70) NOPE!
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- I really don't need to explain this. You know those moments where you see the obvious boss room, or see player blood stains all over the place. Remember when you promptly decided to go the other way. Congratulations, you just said, "NOPE!"
Well ladies and gents, that's all I got for today. Stay tuned for the next set of explanations! Seriously though, for those that have been reading along, thank you for taking the time to hear me rant.
As usual
C&C is always welcome and appreciated!!!

I'm always curious, do you take the figs apart after making these or do you have an incredible collection of them?

I have an amazing collection of them. I have considered take a massive picture of all of them.

Maybe we can see that in the next Minifig Showcase? ;)

Maybe we can see that in the next Minifig Showcase? ;)


Some kind of siege of the guildhouse Helm's Deep style would be pretty awesome...

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