E3 2019: Whoever wins, we lose
Posted 09 June 2019 - 01:25 PM
I LOVE YOU KEANU
I want him to describe every game to me
EDIT - Things that are actually happening right now: Keanu is talking about how walking the streets of this world is going to be breathtaking, and someone from the crowd yells out "YOU'RE BREATHTAKING!" and Keanu yells back "NO YOU'RE BREATHTAKING!"
Cyberpunk's release date is April 16th, 2020.
Posted 09 June 2019 - 01:31 PM
k you'll have to excuse me for dying from hype a little bit when Keanu Reeves was on stage.
I missed some 2D indie emotions-'em-up about cartoon animals, which actually looked pretty good but I missed the name (free on Game Pass). Then there was a new Battletoads (also free on Game Pass). Now I think we're moving into the indie montage section of the show.
Hey remember when Keanu Reeves came out on stage and was basically just exactly what you'd hope he'd be like?
EDIT - Sarah Bond, the 'Head of Xbox Partnerships' is here telling me about a whole bunch of new games I can play for free on Game Pass. Apparently they're adding Hollow Knight, Metro Exodus and Batman Arkham Knight today (I might actually replay that), and now they're bringing it to PC, too. You get the whole Halo Master Chief Collection with it, among other stuff, launching today.
- Phaedrus likes this
Posted 09 June 2019 - 01:38 PM
Here's that new Fallen Order trailer:
This game really isn't exciting me at all. I know it'll probably be pretty good, but it just seems like the most generically video-game-y thing somehow.
Now it looks like... it looks like Microsoft Flight Simulator is on stage at E3, you guys. It really looks like that.
Posted 09 June 2019 - 01:43 PM
Oh, this weird indie joke-y jokes trailer just suddenly turned into Wasteland 3 right at the very end. I didn't see that coming.
Now a man named Matt Booty has just walked out on stage and immediately shouted "GAMES!"
He's here to announce that Microsoft has bought Double Fine, which I suppose is why Phil was wearing that Psychonauts 2 shirt.
Posted 09 June 2019 - 01:44 PM
- cool hot protagonist dude
- he's voiced by Josh Keaton, who emphatically isn't Nolan North, but is okay
- awesome looking setting
- BLADE ARMS OH GOD
- Keanu freaking Reeves
I was already sold but what is the word for sold ten times over?
Please inject it into my veins now.
Posted 09 June 2019 - 01:48 PM
We've got a Lego Star Wars? Haven't they already made this game?
Oh it's ALL NINE MOVIES in one Lego game now. Here was me just wanting a Lego The Last Jedi a couple of years ago. It's coming out in 2020, obviously, some time after The Rise of Skywalker.
Now we've got Dragonball Z bois speaking Japanese and screaming. How does anyone watch DBZ in Japanese when Goku is literally voiced by an old lady?
EDIT - This game called 12 Minutes looks like a pretty cool Groundhog Day time loop kind of thing. I'm into it.
And top notch piano music in this game about being a deer in the Tokyo subway. Way to the Woods, it's called, and it looks like the kind of game that would make you cry.
OK, now we've got those Gear of Wars. Laura Bailey is making weird faces to Billie Eilish. Didn't see that coming for a Gears trailer.
It's coming out September 10th, and you get to play it early if you either A) Buy it like a sucker or B) have Game Pass Ultimate and apparently never have to buy games ever again.
Posted 09 June 2019 - 01:58 PM
k, for those not watching, Microsoft has basically turned the E3 stage into a laser tag arena. The whole place is filled with smoke, sparks and big gouts of flame like the set of a Power Rangers episode. I thought they were going to bring out some dudes to jump around or something, but they're just showing a trailer. I think it might even just be a trailer for some new multiplayer mode, too. It's set to a remix of Ozzy Osborne's Crazy Train with Lil Jon shouting WHAT over it.
I think they're trying to make Fortnite inside Gears. It's a new mode called Escape that involves building stuff, or whatever you weirdo multiplayer people like.
And... now there's a Terminator movie tie in with Gears 5, I guess.
EDIT - Now they're talking about an even Elite-r Xbox Elite Controller that lets you adjust the tension of the analogue sticks and lengthen or shorten the pull on the triggers.
We're about halfway through the show at this point, and it's been pretty good so far. Well, pretty average, really, but Keanu Reeves bumps it up to an all-timer.
Now Dying Light 2: The Troy Bakening is here to kick off the second hour.
EDIT - Alright, if anyone had "Microsoft will have a car on-stage to promote Forza" on their Bingo cards, mark it off now. There's a Lego Movie tie-in thing for Forza Horizon 4; you can drive Lego cars around England.
EDIT - Oh, I didn't notice because I'm watching in 240p (my internet has chosen today to go on the fritz, of course), but the car on stage is actually entirely made of Lego.
Now we're doing that Gears Funko Pop game from last year's show that I haven't thought about for... hm, let's say exactly one year now.
State of Decay 2 has some kind of expansion now. I could really use a dose of Keanu Reeves to keep my interest levels up right now.
EDIT - I think this is... Phantasy Star Online? That's weird.
Posted 09 June 2019 - 02:14 PM
k, I've kinda lost the thread of things. Something called Crossfire X is here, and Phil was talking it up like it's a huge thing on PC, but I don't think I've ever heard of it. They're showing it off with a CG trailer of modern military beard dude imagery, so I feel like I know what it's about, at least. Anyway, it's on Xbox now.
EDIT - Some kind of Bandai Namco anime thing. I think it might be Code Vein? I don't know, man- oh, OK, no, it's a Tales game. Tales of Arise. I honestly don't know the first thing about any of those Tales games.
k now we've got Borderlands 3. Maybe Randy Pitchford will come out on stage, leaving a trail of grease behind him as he accidentally incriminates himself in some kind of scandal and then steals something on his way out.
Posted 09 June 2019 - 02:19 PM
OOOOOOH, here's the Miyazaki/GRRM game!
It's called Elden Ring, it looks amazing (CG trailer only, though), and it might be Xbox/PC exclusive? Well, those are the only two platforms shown in the trailer, at least. I can't really believe it wouldn't come out on PS4.
EDIT - Phil's talking about the new Xbox, and he's kicking it off by acknowledging that people hated the original "It's a TV machine!" marketing spin they went with for the Xbox One. He's talking big things about how the new Xbox is all about games, the most powerful machine, etc etc.
Ray-tracing, 8K, 120FPS, SSD, '40x performance increases' over current generation. They're really emphasising their 'no load times' tech, which I'm into.
EDIT - "Next holiday we will launch Project Scarlett with Halo". So November 2020 for a new Xbox and Halo Infinite then.
- Dalton Westmoore likes this
Posted 09 June 2019 - 02:37 PM
They're ending the show on that, which was... a real wet fart. That was like a ten minute Halo cutscene that ended before anything actually happened. No Gears gameplay, no Halo gameplay. Huh.
Well, we'll always have Keanu Reeves.
3ish hours until Bethesda, then.
EDIT - Artist's depiction of Microsoft's show:
Posted 09 June 2019 - 03:50 PM
The 40x jump seems unlikely, but most rumors seem to aim at a 12 to 16 core CPU and a monsterous GPU up to 14 Tflops for either console and about 24-32 GB of RAM. E3 2020 will be hyping next-gen everything. Full reveals and everything.
Next Batch of consoles..... Or well the rumors.
PS5 - 16 Threaded CPU 10.28 TFLOPS 16 GB RAM 825 GB Super SSD PRICE = Probably $399, 450 or 500.
XB4 - 16 Threaded CPU 12.15 TFLOPS 16 GB RAM 1 TB Fast Flash PRICE = $500-700 without a doubt.
NES8 - 8 Core CPU 1-4 Tflops 8 GB RAM Some type of expandable extra HDD you must buy. Price = $299-400. Might launch in 2021.
Posted 09 June 2019 - 04:34 PM
Posted 09 June 2019 - 04:43 PM
So the protagonist of Dying Light 2 is being voiced by a totally new guy whose name I already forgot. It's not Roger Craig Smith again ( ), and it's not Matt Mercer. I was bouncing between the two in the trailer, couldn't decide which one it might be. I was leaning toward Roger, since his voice is pretty amazing.
But no, it's a new guy.
I like him.
- Ocelot likes this
Posted 09 June 2019 - 04:56 PM
I like him.
k Bethesda is coming up in half an hour. I'm going to try and squeeze in a quick dog walk before it starts, so wish me luck. It might rain freezing droplets of ice water all over me while I'm out there, but I promise I'll be back in time.
Posted 09 June 2019 - 05:05 PM
(Also you are the best )
So I guess there will be... Doom and Evil Within 3, right? I'm not really sure how much I care, I just want to see Todd Howard faff around.
Posted 09 June 2019 - 05:31 PM
HERE WE GO, CHILDREN!
Set your faces to cringe, because they're doing one of those awful "Every photogenic person at the company talks about the first time they played a video game and then they all shout about being gamers at the end" intros.
EDIT - Pete Hines is here. Odds on whether Todd Howard is going to make him take the fall for Fallout 76?
EDIT - There is a lot of applause going on basically every time Pete Hines takes a breath. Like, a suspicious level of applause. I'm no conspiracy theorist, but every single person in this crowd is definitely a Bethesda plant.
Now Todd is here making the self-deprecating jokes that he thinks will make up for selling people a broken game for $60. He talked about how they had "a lot of difficulties at launch", and then said that they've kept working on it and now it has the best community of any online game ever. And then he almost immediately changed the subject to Elder Scrolls Blades. If anyone wants to know how the sweet little lie game is played, that was it right there.
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