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#489073 The Star Wars Non-Canon TV Show Topic (Except The Mandalorian is super great)

Posted by Florent on Yesterday, 06:07 AM



So I watched the first episode of the new Boba Fett and IG-88 err, I mean totally unrelated bounty hunter and unrelated IG-droid show. It was pretty much exactly as expected out of a Boba Fett and IG-88 show. The Mandolorio gets a bounty mission, then heads to go get the bounty, then gets the bounty. 

There was some mildly interesting stuff about "the guild", which I don't know much about because I'm not following current Star Wars canon, but it  seems like a cool John Wick honor-among-thieves, pirate's code sorta deal. That was cool when the two bounty hunters ran into each other and worked together. it was a little unexpected to see this tough-as nails gritty no-fun-allowed Star Wars character be put into situations that are a little comical. I like all the stuff with learning to ride the creatures with the old alien guy. He was the best, I loved that line he kept saying. Gotta say though that moment at the end with the bounty was... unneeded. 




Overall I enjoyed it for what it was, and I'll tune in next time. I just wonder what kind of story you can really tell beyond what we've already seen in one episode. Boba Fett was a blank enough slate for what he was, but this new guy is totally different because... he... Is a Mandalorian? We'll have to wait and see if they have any ideas besides " 'member Boba Fett? "

#488992 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Maclunkey

Posted by Florent on 03 October 2019 - 05:02 AM

Every time I see a photo of shirtless Swolo I have to double check to see if it's the photoshopped version, but no. That's actually what he looks like.



#488990 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Maclunkey

Posted by Florent on 02 October 2019 - 06:04 PM

As the days pays my excitement for ep9 grows. Who is Rey gonna kiss? WHO? What's the deal with Sheev?


I've been in love with these characters since day 1, and I can't wait to finally see everyone on screen action blasting and swashbuckling together. My hype is tangible. Feel it. FEEL IT. I honestly don't have anything to add other than that the trailers are mega good, better than TLJ but less than TFA in my view. Something about those TFA trailers still sets me off. The way they brought that Han and Leia theme in as a general "We know you love this" kinda way is so up my alley.


Apparently the plot got leaked on Reddit, so be vigilant about dem spoilers. You can never trust a Star Wars fan to be respectful of others' views  :lego_soawesome:

#488568 Game of Thrones: Chaos Is A Ramp

Posted by Florent on 20 May 2019 - 07:15 AM

Hey remember when they set up all this mysterious magic? A fully undeniably powerful fire god? Unstable decade long seasons? A full neural network of trees (or something)?, an ice kingdom for White Walkers north of the wall? The show doesn't remember. The North doesn't remember.


The more I think about the show, the more I feel like it was a ponzi scheme this whole time. 


Noun: Ponzi scheme;
A form of fraud in which belief in the success of a nonexistent enterprise is fostered by the payment of quick returns to the first investors from money invested by later investors.
"a classic Ponzi scheme built on treachery and lies"
They lure us in with the promise of intricacy and depth, then slowly dissolve every plot thread until there is no possible dramatic conclusion to any of the characters' storylines. This episode felt more like an epilogue to a long running show, but we never really got an ending. The Song of Ice and Fire (shamelessly shoved in at the last minute for no reason) wasn't finished. It doesn't even feel like there has been a story in the past few seasons. What was this about? What was the theme? What were they even trying to say? It felt like they shot a bunch of scenes with characters unrelated to each other and only ever loosely connected and just sort of stitched them together.
The thing is too, if this season was a standalone HBO miniseries it would be pretty good. If you ignore the decade of groundwork laid down by previous seasons and books, this season was probably pretty watchable. The problem is that it doesn't exist in a vacuum. This isn't a standalone miniseries, it's a grand finale. A big, dumb, ending where nothing makes sense and everything is disappointing. Was it bittersweet? Was it happy? Sad? Bad? Anything? But yeah, King Bran the literal "that guy" tier dude whose personality, character, and relevance was stripped away off screen three seasons ago, yeah, he's in charge now. Okay? How is that supposed to make me feel? Is he wise? Does he know a lot? What's his tax policy? He keeps telling us he can see everything and knows everything, but he never used his knowledge for any discernible cause, except maybe to seize power. Remember, he agreed to come to King's Landing (off screen) because he knew he would be elected leader (allegedly). Bran is just as self-centered and blasé as anyone else, and doesn't deserve anything. He did nothing. Literally has had no connection to the rest of the plot until the very last second where he claims it was all part of a plan (or something?) for him to become king. I don't understand. Maybe it's cause I'm not an enlightened wise old sage like Dave Benioff orDan Weiss, who are much smarter than me and wrote a story far too complex for our simple minds to comprehend. 
Man, I thought I was over it. Really, I did. Going in there was no malice, hatred, etc. Just disappointment and a little sadness over how much I used to care about these characters. Once I saw Arya walking around WITHOUT THAT HORSE WE SPENT LIKE 25 MINUTES WITH last episode, I lost it. I got actually angry. When I realized I put more time and effort into caring about this story than the showrunners, I felt a little betrayed. By myself surely, because they got me. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you can't fool me again. It's funny. We all thought they cut the fools out from the story, but in the end we were the fools. For even paying attention. 
Check please.

#488566 Game of Thrones: Chaos Is A Ramp

Posted by Florent on 19 May 2019 - 08:55 PM

My one regret is that I wasted so many hours of my life thinking about this garbage.



#488543 Game of Thrones: Chaos Is A Ramp

Posted by Florent on 13 May 2019 - 10:11 AM

A lot of the Targaryen stuff just solidified and I liked it.



#488528 Game of Thrones: Chaos Is A Ramp

Posted by Florent on 06 May 2019 - 11:31 AM

So it's bad. It's been bad for longer than it was ever good. But now it's like, really bad?


I can't anymore. I can't. If there's any silver lining, it's that even the normies are starting to notice. Water-cooler conversation surrounding this show is ragging on it, and I'm loving how much we're all hating it together.


#488502 Game of Thrones: Chaos Is A Ramp

Posted by Florent on 22 April 2019 - 08:19 PM

I liked this past episode. What a world we live in. The "knighting" scene had me misty eyed, everything with Jaime, Theon, even Arya. I liked Arya's scenes for the first time in what, four years? Five? It was nice.


Man, I miss this place. What happened to us? 


#487717 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Maclunkey

Posted by Florent on 28 June 2018 - 12:22 PM

Dalton I'm gonna be straight with ya. I think you need to re-read what I wrote a couple times, because yeah. It's pretty much directed exactly at the type of person who'd have your response. You do not own Star Wars. It does not belong to you, nor did it ever. Sit. Use the force. Think.


You only control your own feelings. You love the OT, maybe the prequels, maybe even the ST and standalones. Great! I never want to take that away from you. I want you to enjoy Star Wars as much as you can, because the more light and love and enjoyment we have in the world the better. 


What I don't want is for you (and your allies) to act like diversity (yes, even for its own sake) is somehow anything but a virtue. Having a cast of characters that everyone can see themselves in is important. Just look at you, you had Luke, Anakin, Han, and a plethora of other characters from the past eternity of fiction. 


What does the girl at Target with the backpack have? Her dad liked Star Wars when he was a kid but never read the books, maybe he played lightsabers and princesses in his back yard as a kid just like I did, and I assume you did. I want that for his daughter. I want that for the kid who only ever sees his ethnic group portrayed in villainous roles. I want the kid to know that having purple hair can be totally normal for people in charge. I want kids to look at Rey and know that if they have a good heart and try their hardest they can succeed in doing the right thing. I want kids to look at Poe and realize that they can't always be the hero of the story. Sometimes the thing you think is right will get you into trouble, and that yes. Sometimes it is better to sit down and let women speak. It's okay. It's hard to hear, that you're not the chosen one. But here's the thing, you were. Those movies still exist. You want to watch Obi Wan? You've got 6 movies of Obi Wan plus however many seasons of Clone Wars. You wanna know more about Boba Fett? Read one of the dozens of EU novels about how cool and badass he is. I used to and I loved it. That never went away. You have 40 years of material catered directly to your demographic. Enjoy it, but let the rest of us play too okay?


I'm not mad at you, I just wish you weren't mad at us.


(inb4 "im not mad")

#487710 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Maclunkey

Posted by Florent on 28 June 2018 - 04:39 AM

I don't want a Bobo Fett or Obi Wan movie. I want a new script with new ideas filled with new characters facing new problems and learning new lessons. If all Star Wars can generate these days is stories about "White Dude Who Realizes He's A Hero" then count me out.

But that's not the case. They seem to be dedicating their efforts towards building new fans, rather than catering to the angry 35 year old man demographic. I'd say that's a good thing. If a star wars movie isn't for me but the kids like it a lot, then great. I don't need another Star Wars movie catered to my specific fanboy interests. I've got decades of EU shenanigans if I want to see Luke being an infallable master of the plot or Bobo being teh c00lest guy evar!!1!

I'd rather see Lucasfilm focus their efforts on something like a Tico Sisters movie to draw in the new generation of people that'll love Star Wars from childhood, just like all of us had.

I'm trying not to say the word diversity because of the cursed implications of that word, but honestly tho. Star Wars has been marketed and geared HEAVILY towards white boys in their tweens for almost 40 years. Seeing a new batch of movies that more people can identify with is nothing but a good idea IMO. Out with the old guard - these guys have been jerks on the internet for almost 2 decades now. Anybody talked to Kelly or Jake recently? Leave this demographic behind. Learn from the mistakes of Solo.

A general audience isn't hype about a Han Solo movie. They didn't want to see another prequel origin. The only people that saw the movie are the die-hards, and it flopped. General audience members have kids and bills and limited money, and chose to see other movies instead. Yeah that's right, people would rather watch Deadpool, Incredibles, or Avengers than the new Star Wars. Most people don't care about Han Solo. Most people don't care about Bobo or even Obi-Wan. It's just the diehards that'll go see these movies. Speaking as one of the die-hards since practically birth, I am now embarrassed to be a Star Wars fan. The fandom has gotten so toxic and gross that I feel like I need to hide my childlike wonder at seeing hyperspace trails and laser sword fights between good and evil. The magic is not gonna be there for the kids growing up today. No little kid wants to be Jyn Entonic or Cassius Condor. Kids don't want to see depressing crime syndicate movies filled with disease and oppression. I mean heck I just saw Solo for a second time the other day and got real uncomfortable watching Stormtroopers at the border checkpoint. Parents aren't going to want to take their kids to a movie that reminds them that they are powerless against a corrupt monolithic government. Not trying to get political but to completely ignore the current climate and double - if not triple - down on the white-dude centric movies is a bad move. There are rumors floating around that this story of the "Star Wars Stories" being canned isn't 100% accurate, and that these movies may actually happen, but honestly I think it'd be a mistake to release these films anytime soon. Who are they for? Who is the audience that Lucasfilm wants to enrapture with these movies? If they make a Bobo movie will my 8 year old niece want to see it? Will the little girl at Target with the Rose Tico backpack want to watch it? It'd be Solo all over again. Diehards will see it, diehards will argue about it, and diehards will kill the franchise.


As a lifelong Star Wars fan I'm ready to admit that we haven't been doing our part as a fandom. We've been bitter, angry, loathsome, entitled, and hyper-critical of these movies since the internet came about. Why? Why do we need to analyze every little detail about the Star Wars universe? I mean heck I was trashing George Lucas RIGHT HERE the other week. I feel bad about that. I feel bad about trashing the prequels to 12 year olds on Youtube comments. Let people enjoy things. It costs $0 to not be a huge jerk when someone says they love a thing.


I even feel bad for ragging on Game of Thrones as much as I do. It's clear that I'm no longer the target audience for that show either, and I've been real bitter about it the past few years. Why? I don't own the property. It isn't for me. I've read the books about 4 times through and gotten my enjoyment out of them. That show is its own new thing at this point, and while I'm no longer interested I'm glad that it can bring joy and hype to people's lives. Even if it is horrible trash.  :ph34r:


The other day I watched Indiana Jones and the thought popped into my head that a "canon timeline" would probably be the worst thing that could happen to that series. Endlessly hounding canon is limiting and adds nothing of value to stories. Having to explain and fill out every detail of the universe kills the magic of it. Having a movie about every character you like will not add to your enjoyment of the previous films. The cancellation(?) of these standalones will hopefully bring about a wash of creative new ideas in a "phase 2" style rebranding after episode 9 comes out. If all Star Wars can do is retread old ground with old characters doing things we already know about, then the brand is dead. Seeing Bobo become the greatest bounty hunter evarrr will not add anything to the cheap laugh of watching him fall into the Sarlaac pit. Knowing what the Kessel Run is and how he did it does not make me care any more about Han Solo, because I already care about Han Solo. I wanted something new, and while I got Qi'ra and the first real deep-dive into Lando's character, the majority of the movie is in service of answering questions that nobody was asking. Other questions like "What was Obi Wan doing while laying low in the desert for 20 years" and "what happened to that kid who's dad got his head chopped off" are not questions burning me up inside that need answers. Stop retreading old ground. Learn from the mistakes of the past. Move forwards with what this universe can do. Move forward with who these movies can inspire. Leave the old guys behind with their dusty books about Sun-Crushers and Yuzzbug Vongs.


Kylo Ren is infinitely more interesting than Anakin Solo. Rey being a nobody that comes in as a monkey wrench to the 40-year battle between rebels and empire is a great way to twist the narrative into something new. New blood coming in and shaking up the established themes. Rey doesn't need to be a Skywalker or a Kenobi, because Skywalkers and Kenobis are nobodies too. Snoke being the ghost of Mace Windu's hand or Maz Kanata being Yoda's sister won't excite a single 12 year old. Most 12 year olds haven't even seen the original trilogy. You know what I say to that? Good. Let 12 year olds have their Star Wars. We had ours. It's time to move on. Not saying that you shouldn't see these movies and be excited for them, what I am trying to say is that these movies are not for you anymore.


Yes you. This very forum is built on old-guard Star Wars fans. Look at everything we did! We built communities, we made mods, we wrote fan-fictions, we built Lego. . . I mean heck the room which I'm typing this has probably around $2000 USD worth of Star Wars Lego in it RIGHT NOW. 


Now look at what Star Wars fandom has become today. Watch any Youtube video about any Star Wars subject and look what people say in the comments. Mention TLJ at work and watch the bearded white dudes scoff at you. Look at the box office numbers of Solo and tell me with a straight face that die-hard Star Wars fanboys deserve anything from Lucasfilm.


Let the next generation of Star Wars fans have their day. Let them have their movies. Let them create communities, build Lego, draw pictures, write stories... let them have Star Wars. We had it and we had a great time, and now it's time to let go and let kids fall in love the same way we did. 



TL;DR: Ah Skywalker, missed you have I. Time it is for you look past a pile of old books. Hm? Heeded my words not did you. Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. . . hmph. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is. Luke, we are what they grow beyond. That is the true burden of all masters.

#487601 D3 2018: The DMC5 Display Demonstration

Posted by Florent on 12 June 2018 - 06:13 AM

Here we go! Death Stranding got me legitimately hyped. Suuuper curious and intrigued by this game. Wanna wander around that desolate waste real dang bad. A wandering survival game that isn't just status bar management? I'm in. Also I love her her umbrella. We'll see what Kojima cooks up plot-wise, I'm sure it'll be zany and fun. Love the tone they're setting though, very tense but somehow peaceful. Getting really good vibes. Not sure how Kojima will factor in Nuclear disarmament tho lol



Assassins Greek looks like the regularly scheduled AssCree silliness. Might be into skippering a trireme around but IDK, it's still an asscree. We all know what it'll be like. That Samurai Dark Souls looked pretty cool too. Still though, gonna wait and see if they develop a good game around their (promising) gameplay systems. The soundscape was super dope in that demo, I might be in just for that tbh.




MAN tho that Spiderman game. Never before have I felt so much like I skipped out on drinking some koolaid somewhere. I'm pretty sure you couldn't pay me to play through another mookfight -> cutscene -> boss. The Batman Arkham games (which they are just ripping off for Spider-Man?) put me into a boring coma that lasted years. Which part of it looks good? What is there to be excited about? I feel like I've already played this game.




#487424 D3 2018: The DMC5 Display Demonstration

Posted by Florent on 09 June 2018 - 12:12 PM

I would LOVE to have been a fly on the wall when the dude pitched his "We'll read twitter questions on stage" idea


EDIT: Did she say phallic?


EDIT 2: No srs did she say this person's name is Phallic????

#487261 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Maclunkey

Posted by Florent on 30 May 2018 - 05:35 AM

Ocelot u have no idea the amount of catharsis your posts give me sometimes.


#487237 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Maclunkey

Posted by Florent on 29 May 2018 - 09:31 AM

Scissorpunch either isn't in the movie at all, or he's just a cantina alien. Never named or given screen time.



I want to delete Star Wars from the internet. Not from reality, just from the internet. Twitter is currently on fire because of how hot these takes are. Movie theaters are collapsing as I speak. An anthology spinoff of a popular series ONLY MADE $100,000,000! The collapse of hollywood is at hand.


My particularly cold-take is that Star Wars has always had issues of weird pacing, bad acting, generic script, and predictable storylines. I kinda figured that's why people liked Star Wars. It's a  pop throwback to the pulpy adventures from back in the day. Ocelot you posted a while back about how the space worm in ESB is technically a pointless scene, and if it were in a modern movie people would be flipping their keyboards. Well guess what, I like pointless scenes. Solo is a movie of pointless scenes. Pointlessly fun scenes. Like Guardigans of the Galaxoid or Indiana Jones (or Star Wars), it's just an adventure romp with shallow characters, a predictable story, and fun exciting action scenes.


I have yet to hear a legitimate complaint about TLJ or Solo. It ususally comes down to "I'm mad that women are in/in charge of Star Wars". Remember Lucasfilm under George Lucas? It sucked. Hard. Star Wars was awful for the past decade under good old Georgie's careful supervision. 


The truth is nothing in TLJ, Solo, TFA, or even Rogue One is nearly as bad as Dexter Jettster. Or the Obi/Anikan snoozefight in Revenge of the Sith. Or the Ewoks. Or the second Death Star. Kathlenn Kennedy brought this series out of the dumpster and back into the realm of "movies I want to see" and can get excited about.


Could it be better? Heck yea. Solo is far from perfect (L3 is maybe the worst Star Wars character since Jar Jar IMO) but it's a HELL of a lot better than anything to come out of Lucasfilm between the years of 1980-2015. 3 years of fun summer movies, 45 years of garbage, 3 years of pretty good summer movies. Thank you for bring Star Wars back, Kathleen. George, I hope you get over your ex-wife leaving you and finally release the movie she fixed for you.


My cold take got real hot there at the end. Sorry.



#486995 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Maclunkey

Posted by Florent on 10 April 2018 - 08:10 AM

I got it wrong and now I feel like a sleazebaganno