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Part 8: Another Round!

Posted by Nightstalker, 07 May 2017 · 4,700 views

Greetings lords, ladies, and peasants of SSLF!
After a much needed break, it's time to get back to it. So, before I start, here are a couple of things you can look forward to. First off, for those curious about custom minifigs, I've gone ahead and started a list of gray market vendors that carry cool stuff (SSLF included). You can find that here:
Next, I'm hoping to start piecing together my build for Brickfair VA, which is in August. This means, I'll start posting WIP pictures just to get some feedback. At some point, I'll probably end up requesting for some additional SSLF cameo figures to show up in the build, so get those ideas rolling! Lastly, Fantasy Funnies will return next weekend along with Minifig Showcase. Hopefully, I'll have a couple of new figs cooked up, so that should be semi-interesting.
With that out of the way, let's dive on in!
71) Vampire Clothing
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- Ah yes! I was wondering where this one went! I have sooo many issues with vampires in fantasy, but this one typically sticks out. Vampires seem to range from looking super bad@$$ or suave, to looking well... umm... I'm at a loss of words to explain it. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that their apparel doesn't look like something you'd see in the typical clothing store during that time period. And if they aren't that, then they look like emo kids. I mean, when's the last time you saw a vamp in kingly looking finery? I sure as heck haven't seen one. Looking back on this, it's a wonder that I haven't said much about female vampire apparel... or lack there of... 
72) Heroic @$$ Kicking Time!
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- If you recall the last post, I made fun of those moments where your character gets overwhelmed in a cut scene by minions that you've slaughtered before. Well, this is why that last one is funny. If I could add a label to the last one it would say, "Cutscene," and this one would say, "Actual Gameplay." Let's face it, when you have control of your character, your darn near unstoppable in most games. You typically tear through opponents as whatever epic music plays in your head as you do this (because the actual music in game probably isn't too epic, unless you're playing good ole' DMC1, 2, 3, or 4). It's moments like these where you just rip through opponents and have fun as you style on them.
73) Strength FTW!!!
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- For anyone that knows me, I typically make characters that got that strangth. Heavy armor and heavy weapons have been my go to in many RPGs. That being said, I've noticed that more systems in video games and TTRPGs that I've played seem like they heavily favor more dexterous/agile characters. Even fighting one seems to be such a pain. So why not go dex? One simple reason, flattening those dex folks. Sure you can duck and dodge your way around me and keep poking me, but when I catch you (and trust me... I will) your pretty much dead! The feeling you get when this happens is so darn satisfying! That truly is a success in and of itself.
74) Those Brilliant Conversations!
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- NPC conversations suck. There I said it. Let me explain it. Actually, you can check it out yourself in any TES game. For whatever reason, NPCs talk about super mundane things. For example, I'm certain you've heard, "Saw a mudcrab the other day. Nasty little creature!" Really? You mean that weak crab creature I've been slaying since level 1!? Between stupid statements like this that you hear, you really begin to notice how ridiculous these folks can be. What's worse is when you catch them talking to each other. For those that have played TESIV, go and boot it up again. Now go and listen to NPCs talking with each other. If you can get a conversation that actually makes sense, I'll be surprised. Of course, this seems to only exist in games that have full voice acting.
75) The Problem with Sparing the Child
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- A while back, I shared my thoughts on why the children should not be spared by evil villains. Well, this is one of the issues that will arise. Let's walk through it, shall we? The villain rolls through the town and destroys the everything including the family that just so happened to recently have a new child. Rather than killing the child, the villain, for whatever reason, decides that he wants to make this child into his evil apprentice. Now, inevitably he missed someone in the village, who happens to know that this child is the son/daughter of an old hero/heroine. Of course the child turns out to be an evil bastard until, you guessed it, they find out what really happened. Congratulations evil villain, you now have a new enemy, who you trained! Which means that they will inevitably join the good guys who are out to kill you. You know how you could have prevented this? If you'd had killed the child, like you have in every other town, this would have never happened. Stupid villains...
76) On Slaying Children
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- Reality check! Okay, show of hands, how many of us have tried to slay children in a game (thinks of Braith in Skyrim)? That's good that I'm not the only one. My champion can slay every last nasty creature in the land and in some cases, slay deities, but these little bastards are immune to my attacks! "But why Nightstalker? Why do you want to kill children!?" I'll tell you why. See if this rings a bell. I just saved the world. I'm wearing the highest tier equipment I can possibly get. I have a power aura surrounding me. When I speak the heavens shake. My character is sitting at max level. I'm awesome. I walk past a child, who then says, "I thought adventurers were suppose to be tough." Seriously!? Alright, well guess what, when your older and no longer invincible, I'm going to find you. Luckily, if you played a game like Fallout 3, you can find and kill one of the children when they are older in Fallout 4 (Hint: it's Elder Maxson). I just want some respect, that's all! Unless I'm evil then I just want some skulls for a cool belt, or throne.
77) Wait, How'd You Get That?
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- For those that know me, I love loot based games, like Diablo 3. The issue with them is that great loot can drop from anything. For example, I've found some epic set weapons from slaying basic enemies. And it's all thanks to our lord and savior RNGesus. For as many times as you get screwed over by RNG, you also have those glorious moments where the perfect item is delivered to you. And it is a light in dark! And it always seems to happen right as soon as you're about to give up for the day. Let's face it, we all hate RNG, yet at the same time, we kind of love it. It makes us hate the game, but also love those moments where we get epic items from randoms.
78) Crafting Weapons is Strange...
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- Weapon crafting and upgrading is something you will inevitably have to do in RPGs. One of the great questions I have always asked is what exactly do you do with the materials to upgrade your weapon. Seriously, think about it. Are you applying more metal to your sword? Where's that dragon bone go? I don't see it on my weapon. I have the Soul of a Great Lord, does my pike just swallow it to turn into a new weapon. There are so many things that happen that I feel like it falls out of the job description of a mere weaponsmith. Honestly, not much else to really add here.
79) The Pretty vs. The Ugly
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- We all know the reason why elves and man are never friends with trolls and orcs is because they're ugly. "But, Nightstalker, technically these beings were made via chaotic means." Shut up tho! It has nothing to do with them being evil. If orcs and trolls looked more like elves, I bet we'd have more of them as companions rather than enemies. Which is terrible, because I bet orcs would be some cool travelling buddies. Heck, it would beat having Mr./Mrs. Goody-Two-Shoes on my team. You know, I'd really love to see mankind and orcs against an onslaught of elves. Eh, but I'll never see it. I can almost guarantee it.
80) No More Heroes... Wait What About Me?
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- No matter how many experienced warriors live in a given land, it's amazing that none of them are ever called to save the day. It's almost like they don't even exist. They've either all died out, or are "retired." So that's one issue here. The other issue is wizards. Wizards seem to only want people that are incapable of doing the job to risk their lives. Let's think of a movie like LotR. What if some awesome fighter, who had a solid will and a good backup partner delivered the ring instead? Nope, let's put some untrained chump and a gardener against the forces of evil. It's almost like they want the hero/heroine to fail! I mean, you couldn't even find like a squire or some trainee, you found a guy with zero experience. I mean, all luck and everything aside, this person should have no chance at succeeding. In other words, this is the person who the world would probably NOT want to go on this harrowing quest.
That's all for today folks. It's good to be back.
Anywho, stay tuned for next week when Fantasy Funnies return!
As usual
C&C is always welcome and appreciated!!!

April 2021

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