"That's pretty fire. I like that a lot." - Actual said on stage at E3
EDIT: Oh good, now it's a new mobile game.
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Posted 09 June 2018 - 11:47 AM
This man just introduced himself as a professional shoutcaster.
It's over. I'm done. I'm out. Cancel E3.
EDIT - They're now introducing two white guys in hoodies who will be our competitors in whatever game it is that they're going to commentate over. I genuinely have no idea what this game is. Also, they're playing it on smartphones. Remember when I said 'cancel E3'? CANCEL E3.
Posted 09 June 2018 - 11:49 AM
It's a live match for a RTS game on mobile. Why is this happening?
EDIT: OH! This is the bathroom break!
Posted 09 June 2018 - 11:51 AM
Is Devil May Cry V worth this?
What is even happening here? We're watching two men poke at their phones to play the world's smallest RTS game. The entire field of play fits on the phone screen. It looks terrible and it's been going for like fifteen minutes while the shoutcasters shout at us.
EDIT - OK, I'm not crazy, they actually didn't say the name of the game until the segment was over. It was Command & Conquer Rivals, which is an interesting marketing strategy. Usually they'd say a name you know to get you excited, then show you a boring game. This time they showed the boring game first, so you'd know it wasn't worth your time, then announced the name you know, so you'd think "Oh. Well, that doesn't live up to the name".
Posted 09 June 2018 - 11:54 AM
Oh. It was Command & Conquer the whole time.
Remember Command & Conquer? It's a cell phone now.
Posted 09 June 2018 - 11:57 AM
OH MY GOD the Lizard Man is already wrapping things up! We're going to end on Anthem, and THAT WAS IT! I feel like I've been sitting here waiting for the show to start and somehow it's over already!
Where were all the games? What the hell was that? What?
How has EA had the Star Wars licence for LITERAL YEARS now and they still can't make any Star Wars games? They actually had FEWER Star Wars games this year than they did last year!
EDIT - Lizard Man is talking about how EA is donating one million dollars to charity, which is obviously nice, buuuuut... you know EA makes like a hundred billion dollars a year, right? This man probably has a million in his pocket right now.
Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:00 PM
So, we've been waiting to hear from this game for the past year, and it's still just a "Game Engine Footage" Trailer.
Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:01 PM
They muuuuust have some gameplay, though, right? They had gameplay last year!
EDIT - "I know you must have questions about Anthem, because we're ALL BIOWARE FANS". Are we, though? Are we just going to welcome Casey Hudson out here on stage, knowing what he did to Mass Effect? There was a conspicuous lack of applause when she brought him out, I'll say that for free.
Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:02 PM
Next Batch of consoles...........
PS4 Pro - 4.2 Tflops - 2016
Scorpio - 6 Tflops - 2017
NX - 2017 - Mario Mushrooms, and Link's Hat powered device.
PS5 - 2019/2020 (Powered by AMD Zen family APU)
XBNext - 2019/2020/2021 (Powered by AMD Zen family APU)
Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:06 PM
Well the respawn Star wars game announced via words instead of teaser was already in development last year. The Single player Star wars game they were making disappeared when they canned it to be rebooted into a multiplayer game. So they should have 2 or 3 Star Wars games to show off next year.
They're so bad at this. The only Star Wars game they actually had footage of was last year's game that everyone hated
Three Bioware people are out here talking a bunch of rubbish about how "No, it definitely has a great story despite being a Destiny. Trust us. When have we ever let you down? Apart from that one time. And that other time. OK, apart from all those times we let you down, when have we ever let you down? Buy our game."
Here's a flashback to when this show was watchable for a couple of minutes. Listen to this lady's accent:
EDIT - You guys, I genuinely don't think they actually have an Anthem gameplay demo. I think they're going to save it for one of the other shows. This is a real contender for worst E3 show ever.
Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:10 PM
And now we're taking questions from Twitter. Why is this still happening?
Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:10 PM
Oh boy are we doing this?
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME!
FOR THE NOTHING THAT EA HAS TO SHOW YOU!
EDIT - I want to go in there and physically prevent all these audience members from clapping when someone on stage announces that there won't be lootboxes. DON'T GIVE THEM YOUR PRAISE! They're the ones who started lootboxes in the first place!
Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:18 PM
Man these characters are so. . .
nvm I'm too bored to even bother finding the right word.
EDIT: hey look it's Casey Hudson
Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:19 PM
Anthem is Destined to come out on February 22nd 2019, which is the same day that Days Gone AND Crackdown 3 come out. At least right now.
EDIT - Oh, but stay tuned, because the FIFA 2018 tournament starts right after the show! LET ME JUST
SET MYSELF ON FIRE GET COMFORTABLE!
Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:20 PM
Aside from the Anthem gameplay at the end, that entire conference felt like a massive waste of time. Wow. At least the bar is set very low for the rest of E3.
Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:27 PM
What could any of these big soulless corporations announce that would garner excitement? I can't think of a major AAA franchise (obviously excluding devil may cry and uncharted) that hasn't been driven into the ground or gone on long past its prime, and If ANTHEM is the kind of new IP they're gonna be leading with. . . I just don't care about what they have to offer in general.
Here for the memes, but I don't even think I could bring myself to be disappointed at E3 anymore. This is just what the event is now I guess?
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