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The Adventure of a Lifetime

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#1 Werewolf King

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 04:01 AM

The Adventure of A Lifetime


Chapter One: Why can’t I do that again?



DM “I bet you’re all wondering why I brought you here.”

Derek: “Not really. You called us and said you had an idea for a new D&D campaign you wanted to try out.”

Dave: “Yeah. You said it would end in less hatred and flames than the last one.”

“It is totally not my fault that Bill decided to turn on you guys.”

Bill “That rocked.”

“Shut up. No, this is gonna rock.”

“What edition is it? 3.5?”

“Fourth?”

“None of the above. I made it up.”

"…"

“What?”

That sounds like a horrible idea.”

“Nah, I worked it all out. It’ll be sweet. At least try it, guys. It’s still pretty similar.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah, why not.”

“Fine, but only since these guys are doing it.”

“Thanks guys.”

“Let’s just get to characters. How is this gonna work?”

“Pick what you want to be. Like a barbarian, or a cleric, or something.”

“Can we dual-class?”

“Yes, but you suffer a penalty to both sides. For example, if you’re a spellsword, you won’t be nearly as good of a spellcaster as a mage, or as good of a swordsman as a fighter.”

“That sounds fair. Pairs?”

“Only you, Bill. Because of that favor.”

“You mean when I-“

“Shut up.”

“Can I be a human bard-mage combo?”

“How would that work?”

“It’d be so cool! I could use my mandolin to cast support spells!”

“That actually is pretty sweet.”

“I’ve come up with my pair: An Elf archer and a half-orc tank to be his meatshield.”

“Sounds acceptable. Dave?”

“I’m thinking.”

“Must be difficult for you.”

“Quiet you. I’ll take a half-elf rouge.”

“Okay. Fill out these character sheets and come back here to tomorrow. Any questions? No? See ya guys.”




“You guys ready for some ACTION!?”

“Yeah. Calm down there big guy. Here’s my character.”

“Thilan the half-elf. Seems tight. Derek?”

“Here you go.”

“Robard the human. Oh, thanks Bill. Heiran the elf and Morak the half-orc. You guys ready to start?”

“Heck yeah!”

“Sure.”

“Alright. You begin in the walled city of Macan, an independent city who’s governor has hailed you all.”

“Quest hook!”

“Not while I’m narrating. Anyway, you approach the king, a middle-aged man who gained Macan’s independence through battle. He speaks to you.

“Hail, adventurers. I have called you here to retrieve an artifact that has come to my attention. It is an ancient oak staff that possesses the power to summon beasts from beyond. If you are to obtain it and bring it here, I will reward you greatly.”

“Sounds great.”

“Please stay in character, noble adventurers.”

“Oh, right. Thus do we accept your challenge, great king.”

“He’s a governor.”

“Whatever, let’s keep going.”

“You set out from the city, heading south to the coast.”

“Can I play a song while we walk?”

“As long as it’s not a spell.”

Brave brave Sir Robin

Rode forth from Camelot

He was not afraid to die

Not brave Sir Robin!

He was not afraid to be killed in very nasty ways

Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin!


“I’m rolling for a random encounter.”

“What! Why?”

“Because you’re quoting Monty Python in a D&D session. That’s like a cardinal sin. As you walk, and Robard sings, an arrow flies from a nearby tree. It hits Morak! Bill, roll a save.”

“I don’t need to.”

“Why not?”

“Morak has that one feat – juggernaut. Bows can’t hurt him.”

“But if you gave him juggernaut, he can’t have any other feats.”

“Morak doesn’t have any other feats. He relies on Heiran for support and stuff.”

“Oh. Okay. Dave, you have the highest initiative.”

“Spot check.”

“You see a man in the tree. He’s wearing armor that you recognize from the Black Hate mercenary band. Because of your ludicrously high initiative, you can still do something in your turn.”

“I throw a dagger at him. Roll for dexterity, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Woo-hoo! Critical throw!”

“Your dagger hits a particularly thick branch by the mercenary.”

“What! I rolled a critical!”

“And he rolled a critical cover save.”

“Bs. Where’s the die?”

“Right here.”

“… Did you cheat? Are you conspiring against me?”

“You know me better than that. I hope. Bill, It’s Heiran’s turn.”

“I shoot an arrow at him.”

“No way.”

“What?”

“I rolled another twenty for his cover save.”

“What!”

“See! That dice must be loaded or cursed or something! Derek, use that dice for your turn.”

“Okay. I play “Protective shield” over the party.

“Roll for intelligence.”

“I rolled a three.”

“Are you serious!?”



---------------

Hey hey! D&D!


Jaquandor once said this about quoting Monty Python at a Renaissance Festival, although this applies just as well to playing D&D:

[...] So it’s with nothing but love and heartfelt concern that I inform you that walking around shouting quotes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail like “I’m bein’ repressed!” and “Ni!” is the Renaissance Festival equivalent of shouting “Freebird!” at a rock concert. Don’t do this, folks. Wandering through a Renaissance Festival with your friends, pretending to debate the airspeed of an unladen swallow, is just shooting fish in a barrel. Don’t do it

Posted Image

This really is like shooting fish in a barrel.




Inspiration for most of this psuedo-story goes to DM of the Rings, The Gamers: Dorkness Rising, and my actual D&D experiences.
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#2 Ratcatcher

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 08:14 PM

This sounds awesome. What if we like quad-storied something like this, where you were the DM, and I was a character and somebody else was a character (so on, so forth). Almost like an RP, but not quite. :D

#3 Werewolf King

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 11:54 PM

Hmm... that would be quite cool...
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#4 Ratcatcher

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Posted 10 July 2012 - 01:00 AM

There's an RP idea! An RP about an RP! If I post sign-ups, then will you run the RP? :D

#5 Werewolf King

Werewolf King

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 03:23 AM

Actually, I was planning on posting a D&D mod. Or Escape 2. SO MANY RPS!
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#6 Ratcatcher

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 03:40 AM

Ooh my next mod is going to be much more hilarious than the Lost Sword. (I'm enjoying these misadventures. :D)

#7 Oufy

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 05:01 AM

There's an RP idea! An RP about an RP!


That sounds awesome! I'd join it! :)

Edited by Ouflah, 15 July 2012 - 05:01 AM.

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#8 Werewolf King

Werewolf King

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 06:45 AM

YOU'D BETTER! :P

No, really though. I'll find you.
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#9 Oufy

Oufy

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 07:38 AM

:P
I'll play the n00b, of course...

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#10 Ratcatcher

Ratcatcher

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 07:48 PM

I'll totally be the guy who constantly dies. :P
EDIT: Now post sign-ups for this.

#11 Oufy

Oufy

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 10:10 PM

EDIT: Now post sign-ups for this.

DO EET! DO EET NAOW!

:P

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