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Transformers 4: Age of Baysplosions


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#1 Ambad

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 10:44 AM



Well... there was a brief moment where Optimus riding Grimlock looked almost cool, but was immediately ruined by the next frame as Grimlock plodded clumsily through some architecture.

Also, no thank you Mark Wahlberg; wherever you go will be quite dangerous, and I would rather not be killed by homocidal alien robots. I will not stay behind you.

At least we can thank (actual cannibal) Shia Labeouf for staying out of this one.
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#2 Ocelot

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 12:54 PM

"Hey, whaddah awll these robawts doin' heah? I'm ovah heah workin' awn my glammah muscles and they come and take my dawtah? You'd bettah believe I'm runnin' down the street aftah rah! I'll do tah them what I woulda done to them 9/11 terrah-wrists if I was awn that plane!"

 

(Boston accents are hilarious :P)

 

Yep, this looks like a Transformers movie alright. I tried about ten times to work out what Mahkie Mahk was yelling at the robot that was running off with his daughter, but I just couldn't do it. Sandra? Santa? Did he name his daughter Santa? I swear to God he's saying Santa. I went to IMDb and found that her name is apparently Tessa, but there's no way he's saying 'Tessa' there. Also? His daughter is White Katara from that unwatchable Shyamalan Avatar movie, so, y'know, great casting work there. I wonder if it was the part where she spoke slowly with no discernible inflection or facial expression that drew Michael Bay to her, or the other nine parts where she did exactly that?

 

I think I could probably watch one of these movies if it was, like, ninety minutes or shorter. At two-and-a-half hours, though, I just can't do it. It's like actual torture. It's what they reserve for the hardened terrorists who can resist waterboarding and stuff. 



#3 Rickard the Bearded

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 02:12 PM

BWOOONG BWOOOONG BWONG BWONG BWONG

 

Also, I eager anticipate Grimlock taking a dump on someone, while the audience watches every moment of it.


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#4 Wang Fire

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 10:21 PM

Is it just me, or did the CGI on the Transformers themselves actually get worse?  Because the quality is looking like a it took a step or two toward "Asylum if they actually had a budget and were told to put some effort into it".


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#5 The unknown

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 10:24 PM

Is it just me, or did the CGI on the Transformers themselves actually get worse?  Because the quality is looking like a it took a step or two toward "Asylum if they actually had a budget and were told to put some effort into it".

Either these are not the final versions, or it's the 3D quality or things like that ... Considering Bay is still at the helm of the project and that despite all of his flaws he's a visual perfectionist, I'm pretty sure there are things that were left out.



#6 Azoth

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Posted 04 February 2014 - 12:01 AM

You mean... This series is still a thing?


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#7 The unknown

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Posted 04 February 2014 - 12:09 AM

You mean... This series is still profitable?

Corrected for you.



#8 Klaykid

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Posted 04 February 2014 - 04:53 AM

Saw the trailer. Super excited. I love watching robots kick the crap out of one another.


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#9 Michaelangelo

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Posted 04 February 2014 - 05:31 AM

Looks much better than Captain America 2. So much better.


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#10 Cutlass-Crocodile

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Posted 04 February 2014 - 08:02 AM

Man... I wish they would just take all the robot fight-scenes and slam them all together in a big, long scene. I would watch that... I would. Guilty pleasures and that kind of dash it all.

 

Having to watch horrid acting by some of the least talented individuals in the industry in between those fights scenes? I just can't bring myself to do it. I watched that first Transformers movie once. And part of it twice because of those robot fight scenes. But I haven't seen any of the others, because I just can't bring myself to pull that trigger. I'm a coward, lads, I know that. I'm so, so sorry!

 

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#11 The unknown

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Posted 04 February 2014 - 12:19 PM

Man... I wish they would just take all the robot fight-scenes and slam them all together in a big, long scene. I would watch that... I would. Guilty pleasures and that kind of dash it all.

 

Having to watch horrid acting by some of the least talented individuals in the industry in between those fights scenes? I just can't bring myself to do it. I watched that first Transformers movie once. And part of it twice because of those robot fight scenes. But I haven't seen any of the others, because I just can't bring myself to pull that trigger. I'm a coward, lads, I know that. I'm so, so sorry!

 

(Sorry if you like Mark. My respect for him, while nonexistent, plummets with this smelly, old sock. Yes, he's a good actor. No, I don't like him. Bite me, baby!)

The third one has a hour-long action sequence at the end. It's not that bad !



#12 assassinfred

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Posted 16 February 2014 - 06:01 AM

More robots fighting robots?

 

I'll watch it for the same reason I watched all the other Transformers movies: Giant robots, Baysplosions, cool action scenes involving giant robots and baysplosions. Then there's some humans mixed in there, but no one cares about that. Then to top it all off at the end, lots of giant robots making lots of baysplosions all fighting in a city and tearing down buildings with their giant robot bodies and baysplosion-y weapons.

 

I'm a sucker for that kind of thing.


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#13 Gentleman Psychopath

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Posted 16 February 2014 - 03:17 PM

More robots fighting robots?

 

I'll watch it for the same reason I watched all the other Transformers movies: Giant robots, Baysplosions, cool action scenes involving giant robots and baysplosions. Then there's some humans mixed in there, but no one cares about that. Then to top it all off at the end, lots of giant robots making lots of baysplosions all fighting in a city and tearing down buildings with their giant robot bodies and baysplosion-y weapons.

 

I'm a sucker for that kind of thing.

It's the 8 year-old in all of us that makes us want to see it. Some people then promptly take that eight-year old and lock him away. I embrace the child fully and say "maybe when it comes out on DVD"


Edited by Gentleman Psychopath, 16 February 2014 - 03:19 PM.

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#14 Ocelot

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Posted 16 February 2014 - 03:48 PM



It's the 8 year-old in all of us that makes us want to see it. Some people then promptly take that eight-year old and lock him away. I embrace the child fully and say "maybe when it comes out on DVD"

My inner eight-year-old loves robots fighting eachother, which is why he hates the Transformers movies. People like to act like it's just all robots punching eachother all the time, but it isn't even nearly! The non-robot-fighting bits make up a disgustingly large percentage of these movies. It's like two hours of the worst, most insufferable comedy and terrible drama and awful orange-skinned people shouting at eachother, with a comparatively tiny little bit of robot fighting sprinkled around here and there. Both my inner eight-year-old and my current self find that stuff completely unwatchable, and it's so tightly interwoven with the action bits that you can't even ride the fast-forward button through the whole movie without ending up accidentally catching more of it than you could ever want to see. Ugh.

 

Ugh.

 

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#15 Rickard the Bearded

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Posted 20 February 2014 - 03:26 PM

And the blatant, nearly Victorian caricultural racism.


Edited by Rickard the Bearded, 20 February 2014 - 03:27 PM.

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#16 The unknown

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Posted 05 March 2014 - 01:55 AM

 

I am actually quite surprised.



#17 assassinfred

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Posted 05 March 2014 - 05:15 AM

Yup. The hype. I have to see it now. 


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#18 The unknown

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Posted 16 May 2014 - 04:06 PM

It actually looks much more promising than the others. Also it looks way more mature, they got the trend back with Dark of the Moon and are going with it.

 



#19 Ambad

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Posted 17 May 2014 - 04:52 AM

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Hmmm, now where have I...?

 

 

 

 

Ah, good ol' Gunface!


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#20 880_ZERO

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Posted 21 May 2014 - 08:31 PM

When he talks about needing an Autobot army, I really hope they bring in Michael Ironside as Ultra Magnus.


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