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Member Since 07 Apr 2008
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Topics I've Started

Mission: Impossible - Fallout/Cruise Missile Appreciation Thread

08 February 2018 - 04:48 AM

There's a new Mission Impossible movie coming, and it looks stone cold incredible:



And as with every new Mission Impossible, we have a chance for Tom Cruise to do some more insane stunts that only a super rich guy with no fear of death who's basically spent his life learning how to do cool stuff can do. Not content with merely doing all his own climbing, fighting and driving stunts, now he's actually flying the helicopter in this movie's helicopter chase:




I love this maniac. Where else are you going to see an actor throwing a helicopter over a waterfall in a movie? I mean, Jackie Chan broke more or less every bone in his body in shooting, used to do 900 takes of a single shot to get it absolutely perfect, directed and wrote and starred in and choreographed his own movies and then sang the theme song over the end credits, but even he never learnt to fly a helicopter for his craft. CRUISE MISSILE, BABY!


So we've got a helicopter chase, a motorbike chase, Henry Cavill and Cruise Missile punching guys so hard they demolish a public bathroom. More free-climbing of cliffs. We've got that bad guy from Rogue Nation, who also played the frog monster guy in Prometheus, btw. Rebecca Ferguson is back, Alec Baldwin's back, Simon Pegg's there, and a little bit of Mrs Hunt, Michelle Monaghan, too. We've got everyone but Paula Patton, it seems, and that hurts me, but nothing's perfect. In conclusion, what is your favourite Mission Impossible movie and why is it Ghost Protocol?

Devil May Cry Thread feat. Ya Boi, Smash That Subscribe Button

27 November 2017 - 03:48 AM

Alright, you gorgeous SSLFers, you. Devil May Cry 5 is, of course, the game that each and every one of us here is most excited about, and that we all dream of every night and spend our days pining over. When will Vergil return to us, we ask ourselves. When will the Big Daddy of action games make his triumphant return to the scene?


Well, hold onto your butts with both hands, because this might just be the big one. A big ol' leaked document has popped up on Resetera, aka New NeoGAF, which I will dump here in its entirety for your viewing pleasure:

- The game is slated to release some time in the fiscal calendar year of 2019. That means sometime between April 2018 and March 2019. Original plan was to release it in November 2018 but the date MIGHT have been pushed back to early 2019. 
- Originally DMCV was intended to be announced at PSX but after receiving feedback on their E3 press conference, Sony decided to scale back on PSX and instead scale up E3 2018. DMCV was an unfortunate casualty of this choice and thus it’s unlikely that DMCV gets officially revealed in 2017. 
- There will be a demo for the game sometime before release. 
- Game has been in development for 2 years as of today. When it will release it will have been in development for 3 years at least. That is actually the highest time a DMC game has been in full production for. Pre-production started as early as 2015 around the time that DMC4SE finished releasing. There have been no development hiccups and as stated, the development has in fact been progressing smoothly. 
- There is some form of Playstation exclusivity involved. Sony is paying for some of the funding for the game but the extent of it is not known. Could be completely PS4 exclusive, console exclusive or timed exclusive. If the game is announced publicly then it will be at a Sony event, which is why many people thought that it was going to be at PSX. 
- Trailer has been ready for a while now. The initial trailer is 1 minute 50 seconds long (they may add new cuts to trailer to make an extended version since some time has passed from when it was made). It is mostly focused on story, characters and cutscenes. A city like setting is shown in the trailer not that different from Fortuna city in DMC4. 
- The overall game is supposed to be “ambitious” for a DMC title with a broader appeal. 
- Longest cutscene runtime of any DMC game yet. 
- Itsuno’s team that worked on previous DMC games and Dragon’s Dogma is working on DMCV. 
- Yuji Shimomura is returning as the cutscene director for DMCV. He worked on DMC3, DMC4 and Bayonetta cutscenes. 
- Reuben Langdon is reprising his role as Dante. 
- Johnny Young Bosch is reprising his role as Nero. 
- Dan Southworth is reprising his role as Vergil. 
- No word on the actresses who played Trish and Lady if they will be returning, 
- Onyay Pheori is helping with the soundtrack (she did the song for DMC4SE’s launch trailer).
- DMCV picks up the story after DMC4. 
- More than one playable character in the game, Dante is for sure playable and Nero is possibly playable as well. Up to 3 playable characters have been suggested for now. 
- This is the most serious Dante has been (a "new side" of Dante), of course not counting DMC2. Dante still plays with his enemies and has his usual over the top flair but this game is going to be more personal for him. 
- A third character is expected to be playable as well. Said to be “very powerful.” May or may not be brand new to the series. 
- No word on whether Vergil is playable or not, he will be returning although specifics on how he is returning from his death in DMC1 are unknown. 
- Trish has a prominent role to play in DMCV but no word on whether she is playable or not. 
- There will be a sequence where Nero and Vergil have a confrontation, confirming their relationship (Nero is in fact Vergil’s son as stated in the DMC3142 artbook). 
- Characters switch during key story points in the game. 
- The “Prince of Darkness” is featured as the main antagonist of the story. (Prince of Darkness title normally refers to Mundus so it might indicate his return but that title may have transferred to another character)
- DMCV might be the end of the “sons of Sparda” storyline. 
- Hard lock on is standard. 
- Console is targeted for 60 frames per second like the previous DMC games. 
- Level design is more open than previous DMC games but not going into Souls or open world territory of level design. Movement outside of combat has been streamlined to match the open nature of the game. The structure is more open to make the experience more "smooth." Immersion is important to the team with this game.
- Level design and exploration is more similar to Bayonetta with action set pieces thrown in there but without the QTEs. QTEs in general do not exist in DMCV thus far. 
- There is NO Stamina bar. 
- This is not a Musou game but there will be encounters where you are facing more enemies than you are used to in a DMC game.
- There is some online integration but definitely no multiplayer PvP. 
- Dodge system is reworked and dodging in general is supposed to be a lot smoother than before (get ready to hear the word “smooth” a lot when related to DMCV). 
- Camera pulls back during big fights. The devs are really proud of the new, more dynamic camera system.
- Animations are being improved to be less stiff. Big emphasis on cloth physics (maybe Dante’s sword might not clip through his jacket now!). Battles are beautifully animated and smooth. 
- Mission and Ranking system similar to previous DMC games and Bayonetta. There will definitely be mission/chapter selects. 
- Bosses being ramped up dramatically in DMCV. One of the boss fights moves between multiple areas of the game. 
- Style system is in for Dante - Enemies will react a bit differently to each style.
- Style system has been streamlined to be smoother to use for the players (speculated that the style system might be tuned/reworked to make it easier to get into than in DMC4).
- Certain styles will have advantages on certain enemies similar to DmC/DMC3 (you can use a single style on any enemy just fine). 
- More environment interactivity than any previous DMC game. This is supposed to compliment the combat system, not detract from it. 
- There is some form of dynamic environment destruction/transformation in play but not on the scale of DmC thus far. 
- While this is not an open world game, some inspirations have been taken from Dragon’s Dogma. 


Take it with a grain of salt, as with all internet rumours about video games, but maybe also believe in it with all your heart because it sounds so good. Itsuno! Vergil! The proper voice actors! Prince of Darkness! A trailer ready to go!
It basically sounds like my dream come true, with the possible exception of another Fortune-style city as the setting instead of a spooky castle/tower like DMC1 and 3, but whatevs I can deal with that. I've been waiting for a proper Dante/Vergil DMC game for almost THIRTEEN YEARS now. DMC3 came out in 2005, and as we all know it is the greatest video game ever made and has yet to be equaled. DMC4 is an excellent action game in kind of a frustrating, incomplete shell, a victim of Capcom's transition to HD development. DmC is a perfectly competent action game (assuming you get the Definitive Edition), but it just isn't that Devil May Cry goodness. But Devil May Cry 5? Fuggedaboudit. It's going to be 400% PURF, and you all know it, and if you say it won't be you're just lying to yourselves.
In conclusion, do you remember what we used to say?

Twenty Seventeen's SSLF Goatee Awards, sponsored by Mountain Dew

07 November 2017 - 08:11 PM

Now I know what you're thinking: "Ocelot, if the rumours about you being the handsomest man alive really are true, how do you manage to be so humble about it? And, also, isn't it only November? Why are we doing this so early?"


The short answer is that the rumours are greatly exaggerated, and in truth I'm probably only maybe in the top ten handsomest men on the planet. Maybe only top twelve! No, probably top ten. But, anyway, as to the second question, I just like talking about video games, man. We don't need to hash out the official best game of 2017 right away; there's plenty of time for arguments and squabbling amongst ourselves until we all unanimously decide that it's Horizon Zero Dawn.


I feel like 2017 will go down in history as one of the best years we've ever had for this children's hobby we're all hopelessly addicted to; I've been knocking out GOTY contenders every month like clockwork, and even the ones that aren't quite my favourites have still been really good. We've struck a rich vein of quality in the ol' video game mine, and that Texas Tea is a'bubblin'. Timbeeeerrrrrr!


I'll start with a cheeky little list of all the amazing games I've played this year before I get started on some longer-form thoughts:


Gravity Rush 2

Yakuza 0


Horizon: Zero Dawn

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Nier Automata

Persona 5



Uncharted: The Lost Legacy

Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle

Yakuza Kiwami

Dishonored: Death of the Outsider

Metroid: Samus Returns

Assassin's Creed Origins

Wolfenstein: The New Colossus

Super Mario Odyssey


And that's just me with my narrow tastes and unwillingness to play anything that seems too scary (Resident Evil 7) or hard (Cuphead). And that's just the games I really liked; if I widened the net to catch everything I didn't love but still enjoyed we'd be here all week.


So with that out of the way, tell me about some good video games you played this year! We don't have to hammer out top ten lists or anything, I just thought we'd talk about some games and stuff. You might need Wikipedia's list of games that came out in 2017 if your memory is as bad as mine is.

E3 2017: Everything was Metroid

09 June 2017 - 08:07 PM

It's that time of year again, citizens of SSLF. Join me as we genuflect at the altar of brand loyalty and corporate devotion that is E3: the Electronic Entertainment Exposition. Tell me why your favourite brand could beat up my favourite brand, and I'll produce a detailed list of reasons why you're wrong, and if you think I'm letting you in this thread with calm, sober and level-headed opinions then you'd better get out right now. I will accept only the finest of kneejerk reactions, hilarious gifs, tired memes and that thing where you write the same word horizontally and vertically at the same time.
This year, the order in which we shall receive our bounty of hype and devastation is thus:
EA: Say it with me, soldiers: SPOOOOOORTS! FEETBALL! WRASSLING! ROUNDERS! RACE WALKING! I can't wait to get in the POCKET and EXECUTE THE DRIVE! OOH-RAH HUT HUT HIKE FOOOOORE! Oh, and Star Wars. Hopefully we'll get more than just a three-second glamour shot of Amy Hennig's newest hunk this year. Oh, by the way, let me tell you guys about the first time I ever saw Star Wars...
Microsoft: The Scorpio is coming, and with it all that good stuff associated with a new console reveal: meltdowns about price, complaints about the name, and hopefully a lot of cool games to keep said new console fed. Crackdown 3 is long overdue, we know there'll be new Forzas, Halos and Gear of Wars rolling off the production lines, and, I don't know, maybe they'll reveal that Scalebound's cancelling was just a bad joke and it'll come back. Shut up and let me dream.
Bethesda: We're know getting a new Voolfenschtein, and we're pretty sure there's a sequel to The Evil Within coming. Fallout 4 and Doom are coming to VR, so maybe we'll enjoy a man doing the old VR rubberneck routine on stage. Maybe they'll even tease a little bit of an Elder Scrolls? It could happen. I wouldn't say no to a spot of DLC for Prey.
Devolver Digital: These guys are holding a show for the first time this year, the publisher behind such games as Hotline Miami, the new Shadow Warriors, Downwell and any number of other small-ish-yet-pretty-cool games over the last few years. This is one of very few of these shows that's on at a non-ridiculous time of day for me, so I imagine you guys are going to be sleeping through it anyway :P
The PC Gaming Show: Like four hours of interviews with the devs of Euro Truck Simulator and the latest open-world zombie survival craze you've never heard of that makes a billion dollars a day? I don't really know what goes on at this show.
Ubisoft: It's confirmed that neither Aisha Tyler nor Beyond Good & Evil 2 will be there this year, but the Assassin's Creed World Engine has spooled back up to full power, and its gravitational pull has sucked a new Far Cry and a The Crew sequel along with it. I suppose the only way to know whether this heralds a return to the pre-Tom-Cuh-Lancy-ization of Ubisoft, before everything was a four-player bro-op teamchat manshooter, is to sit through this potential nightmare.
Sony: They dropped a lot of bombs the last few years, so I can't imagine what they have in store for this year. I expect appearances from our old pals Kratos, Spider-Man, the Claudia Black/Laura Bailey Dream Team and... I don't know, a Nissan Skyline (they probably can't delay that Gran Turismo game another full year, right?). Hideo Kojima says he isn't going to be there with Death Stranding, but you can't trust that guy. Hopefully their VR stuff will be kept to a minimum.
Nintendo: Their pre-recorded hype show is only 30 minutes long and focused solely on 2017 Switch games, but they're doing their Treehouse streams and ARMS and Splatoon tournaments so there's bound to be more than just the few remaining unannounced Switch games that were leaked months ago. Don't tell me you don't want to see more of Mario and the bizarrely un-deformed humans of New Donk City in Super Mario Odyssey.
Devil May Cry 5: While this technically isn't on the schedule, this is the year. I don't know which conference it's going to show up at, but one thing's for sure: we are 100%, definitely, guaranteed* to see Devil May Cry 5 at E3 2017, and it's going to be incredible. Vergil's going to climb straight out of hell, sweep his hair back, then tell Dante he wants his sword back, and the two of them are going to team up to fight some new big bad, and probably fight eachother at least three times, and I guess Nero and Lady and Trish can be there, but hopefully it's mostly Dante and Big Daddy V getting super motivated and styling on fools.
Here is the cross-time-zone schedule chart that I steal from NeoGAF every year so you can see when these stupid shows are on in your neck of the internet woods:
I'll post links to the streams as they go live, but for now ol' Geoff Keighley's Youtube page is up and running with a countdown timer right here. Happy E3, poindexters.