Boba Fett's past has been well and truly delved into, as the second victim of Lucas' "What was this beloved character from the Original Trilogy like as a child, tho?" mania. If they do one day do a Boba Fett movie, it can only be up hill from Episode 2's depiction.
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OcelotMember Since 07 Apr 2008
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Posted by Ocelot on 16 February 2018 - 01:50 AM
Posted by Ocelot on 12 February 2018 - 08:46 AM
You guys, I just don't know any more. I think I have to do something different. I think I have to go and be a monk in the Himalayas or something. Do you think they take white guys from Australia? What is there to being a monk, anyway? I just feel like I need to get away from all this... everyday life in the Western world stuff, y'know? Hmm? What's brought all this on? Oh, I don't know. Probably a bunch of stuff. Oh, but I did just watch Justice League, though. Maybe that has something to do with it...
So a lot has been made of this movie's troubled production, how they were forced to switch directors halfway through from Zack Snyder to Joss Whedon (more or less polar opposites in style), how Henry Cavill had to come back and have his Mission Impossible moustache CGI'd away for reshoots, how the overall DC cinematic universe hasn't really been going great so far outside of Wonder Woman... You might worry whether that kind of chequered past would leave a lasting effect on the movie itself, but I'm here to tell you that, through the hard work and professionalism of everyone involved, it is 100% SUPER NOTICEABLE AND THIS MOVIE IS A STRAIGHT UP TRAINWRECK. Oh my GOD, this movie genuinely made me with I was watching Batman v Superman again, and I say that without a shred of hyperbole. Let's get into this.
Alright, so we open on an inexplicable scene of cellphone camera footage of Superman, back before Zack Snyder meaninglessly killed him off in the last movie, only something about it immediately feels off. For one thing, he's just standing around after saving people from a housefire, making polite small talk with emergency workers, when we know that this universe's Superman prefers to hover ominously in slow motion above screaming disaster victims, but that's not the big issue. No, much more distracting is his TERRIBLE CGI MOUTH that makes him look like God's horrific mistake or a half-built cyborg killbot or something equally terrifying. It's front and centre in the frame for the first full minute of the movie, and it might actually be the worst opening to a movie I've ever seen in my life. It looks so bad; you absolutely cannot concentrate on anything but Henry Cavill's CGI mouth. It would honestly be less distracting if they'd just let him keep his moustache in every reshoot scene and never explained it. It would be less distracting if they'd just painted his beard flesh-coloured. Hell, it'd be less distracting if they'd filmed all his scenes with Henry Cavill's stunt double, or just hired that guy from the 50 Shades of Grey movies to double him here and there because those two dudes look amazingly similar. Literally anything but painting a CGI mouth over Henry Cavill's actual mouth would have been better. It looks so bad. Did I mention how bad it looks?
(This is a REAL SHOT FROM THIS MOVIE. The OPENING SHOT, no less.)
Cut to Gotham City, where Batman is accosting a random thug on a rooftop in an action scene so poorly executed it made me wonder if Joss Whedon had directed this bit, too. It's also where we learn that the movie is going to be 16:9 rather than widescreen, which is... well, an interesting choice, I suppose. Definitely the wrong one, though; I don't know whether Joss Whedon went in and played around with all Zack Snyder's colour-grading and slow-mo moments, but this movie looks bad and the TV aspect ratio doesn't help. Whether you like it or not, that desaturated Zack Snyder look is at least a look. It's consistent. You feel like there's intent behind it, you know Snyder does it on purpose because that's the way he wants his superheroes to look. This movie has some of it, but then it'll just be completely gone in other scenes, and to be honest I actually miss it. Without that Snyder sheen you can see the seams of everything all too clearly. There are so many moments that look like behind the scenes footage of the actors in costume, rather than a bunch of superheroes, y'know? Like when Chris Evans and Chris Pratt go to visit sick kids in hospital dressed up as their characters, but without all the Hollywood makeup and the digital colour stuff that makes movies look like movies.
This movie's story is that a forgettable CGI bad guy I've never heard of, Steppenwolf, has come to Earth to gather three magic boxes that will allow him to conquer Earth. Diana huskily voiceovers some exposition about the three boxes having been hidden by the ancient races of
Middle Earth the last time he was here: one by the Amazonians in a fortress on their hidden island, one by the Atlanteans in a fortress under the sea, and one by men in a small hole they dug in the forest I guess. If Steppenwolf brings the three boxes together, Earth turns into Mustafar and everyone who dies turns into Parademons, and then I guess Steppenwolf moves on to the next planet? I think he mentioned Darkseid at one point, and he keeps talking about 'Mother', but I don't know who that is and this movie makes no effort to explain it so whatevs. I've seen every episode of the Justice League cartoon and I don't know any of this stuff, so I can't imagine how meaningless this all is to Johnny Randommoviewatcher. I guess all you need to know is that Steppenwolf is the CGI man they have to punch, and the boxes are this movie's equivalent of the giant beam of light blasting into the sky that they have to disable. You know: superhero movies.
When people complain about DC trying to run before they can walk, and having the big teamup movie before ever introducing the team, I don't think you necessarily can't do it that way. I don't think it's completely impossible to have a large cast of interesting characters all introduced in the same movie; plenty of non-franchise movies manage it. It's just that DC's ones don't. Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman is still the life of the party, while Batman, Aquaman and Cyborg are all just the same gruff, miserable dude in different colours. There's this teeeerrible scene where Aquaman arrives at Atlantis for a dumb underwater fight and then he and Amber Heard have a huge exposition dump 'conversation' about his whole life up to that point. Cyborg just talks about having been in an explosion, and that's that, like it's taken for granted that we all already know the story of this D-lister who looks like a tacky gamer PC with LEDs all over his face. Flash is the same autistic-but-played-for-laughs character from every movie and TV show of the modern era, and I couldn't tell you about Superman because I was just staring at his ghastly mouth the whole time. I guess he does have a couple of moments where he feels like a real Superman, but he also goes crazy and tries to kill the whole team so I feel like that might cancel it out.
Superman is revived by one of the magic boxes, btw. This movie tries really hard to retcon the fact that Batman and Superman have only said like five words to eachother in DC movie canon; they tried to kill eachother, then Martha, then they barely spoke again in that movie until Superman died. Now we're expected to buy that Bruce feels super conflicted and guilty about it, that he considers Clark Kent a good man who was "more human than he is", which is just the worst. I didn't ask you to kill Superman in the second movie, Zack Snyder, but you made that bed and you've gotta sleep in it. This movie is basically a soft-reboot in all but name. They have a very low energy scene where the team half-heartedly argues over whether they should resurrect Superman (WW doesn't approve but doesn't offer any meaningful objection and just goes along with it anyway), and then they get down to business. Apparently resurrecting Superman involves dunking him in the goo of the crashed Kryptonian ship in Metropolis (which is still sitting there, unmoved, since Man of Steel), dropping the box into the goo, then blasting it with Flash's lightning at the instant it splashes down. Superman wakes up and immediately fights them all, and it's just a bunch of CGI slo-mo rubbish. There's one cool bit where Flash comes running in and is stunned to find Superman can follow him in super speed, but other than that there is nothing memorable about evil Superman fighting the Justice League. Honestly, how do you screw that up?
All the action in this movie is rubbish. It's all super-strength characters punching eachother for miles, and there's no way they can depict that with anything but CGI, and the CGI looks really bad, so it's just all around trash. And there's so much slo-mo! Remember when we thought Zack Snyder might be done with slo-mo when we saw Man of Steel? Here everything's slo-mo, and paradoxically it's never slower than when we're watching the Flash do something in super-speed. There's no memorable choreography, because every fight is just "character A punches character B, B crashes through seven concrete walls" ad nauseam. Batman has nothing to do in the action scenes but drive vehicles, and then at the end he gets one of the bad guys' laser rifles and just perches up on a catwalk shooting demons until his gun goes dry. You know, Batman stuff. "What should fan-favourite character Batman, noted martial artist, do in this fight, guys? Oh, shoot guys with the weapon he swears not to use? Just like he did in the last movie, too? Great idea!"
I honestly think this movie is worse than Batman v Superman, and I think that movie's like shockingly poor. I mean, at least you had some things to hold onto with BvS, y'know? The titular fight scene was pretty good until Martha, and then you had that great Batman vs. goons fight scene right after. Bruce had that shirtless scene where he was doing his powerlifting workout; that was pretty cool. I still think "Do you bleed" is a cool line, though evidently Joss Whedon does, too, because he brings it back in this movie in a reshoot scene only coming out of Superman's horrible CGI mouth this time. BvS was an awful movie, but it was... I don't know, confidently awful? Like, awful, but in a way that made you think that Zack Snyder had made it that way because he thought he was making his magnum opus or something and he just went too far down the rabbit hole. It was the kind of movie you felt like you had to see, because you just couldn't imagine how someone could botch a movie about two of the most popular fictional characters in history so badly. I don't think anyone needs to see Justice League, though. It's just the kind of innocuous bad that'll leave you feeling like you wasted two hours of your life.
At least it isn't three wasted hours, I suppose.
Posted by Ocelot on 09 February 2018 - 08:29 PM
It's the difference between good filmmakers and... well, George Lucas. He's bad at making movies, kids. Give him no credit for all the best parts of Star Wars, because he was not responsible for them.
That brief set visit became a longer one. And a longer one.“He had intended to just kind of stop by and say hi, and he stayed five hours,” Kennedy says. “There’s even one little moment in a scene that — I can’t tell you what, sorry — but in the scene on the Millennium Falcon where George said, ‘Why doesn’t Han just do this.’”In other words, George Lucas helped direct a small part of Solo.
Posted by Ocelot on 09 February 2018 - 05:17 AM
Honestly, I love that her parents were just random people, and I'll be devastated of that gets undone.
Rey is defined by what she does, not who her family is.
100% agreed. I was so happy when Kylo spilled the beans. Honestly that whole chunk of the movie from Rey mailing herself to Kylo in a box, through the throne room scene, all the way up to the big revelation and Kylo and Rey splitting apart (splitting apart along with the entire First Order fleet, hurr hurr hurr) is some of my absolute favourite... movie stuff. I really like it. Two years of speculation since The Force Awakens and I'd always hoped Rey would end up being a nobody, because I think that's a much more interesting idea for a story than her being a long lost Kenobi or whatevs, and they did it.
Oh hey, one more thing I remembered I'd like to say about this whole Star Wars thing: I complained a lot about the editing when I was chronicling my self-imposed punishment of rewatching the Prequels. They're cut together like George Lucas had a timer to remind him when he should switch to another character's perspective, rather than switching between all the story threads at dramatically appropriate moments. When it's time to check in with Obi Wan, it's time to check in with Obi Wan, no matter whether what you're watching right now is more important or interesting. Every movie has to finish with at least three simultaneous giant battles, and you never stick with one long enough for it to pick up any kind of flow. I think I've mentioned before that I was really happy when The Force Awakens didn't do that; it finishes with a lightsabre fight and an aerial battle, but it sticks with Finn vs. Kylo until that's done, then stays with Poe during his trench run until he's done his thing, then it's back to Rey vs. Kylo until that's finished. No constant chopping and changing between the two.
Well, The Last Jedi does something different again, and I think it's really cool. TLJ has Rey and Kylo's throne room scene happening concurrently with Finn and Rose on the Supremacy and Poe and co.'s mutiny on the Resistance ship. All three subplots steadily move along in unison towards what we assume are going to be their established end goals: Rey's going to turn Kylo, Finn and Rose are going to shut off the thing, Poe's going to save the Resistance from this untrustworthy Holdo character. Of course, none of them end up going as expected, but what I really like is that all three build in intensity simultaneously. Kylo kills Snoke (holy crap!), Finn and Rose get captured (what? That's not how movies go!), Poe turns out to have been completely wrong the whole time (Poe wrong? In my Star Wars?). And then, as each subplot reaches fever pitch (Reylo tug'o'war, Finn and Rose under the executioners' axes, the Resistance life rafts being picked off), all three of them are simultaneously interrupted in one fell swoop by Holdo's lightspeed ram. And the best thing is that it's timed exactly to Phasma saying the word 'Execute'.
Ooh it's so well done and I love it. I need this movie out on Blu Ray already.
Posted by Ocelot on 08 February 2018 - 04:48 AM
There's a new Mission Impossible movie coming, and it looks stone cold incredible:
And as with every new Mission Impossible, we have a chance for Tom Cruise to do some more insane stunts that only a super rich guy with no fear of death who's basically spent his life learning how to do cool stuff can do. Not content with merely doing all his own climbing, fighting and driving stunts, now he's actually flying the helicopter in this movie's helicopter chase:
I love this maniac. Where else are you going to see an actor throwing a helicopter over a waterfall in a movie? I mean, Jackie Chan broke more or less every bone in his body in shooting, used to do 900 takes of a single shot to get it absolutely perfect, directed and wrote and starred in and choreographed his own movies and then sang the theme song over the end credits, but even he never learnt to fly a helicopter for his craft. CRUISE MISSILE, BABY!
So we've got a helicopter chase, a motorbike chase, Henry Cavill and Cruise Missile punching guys so hard they demolish a public bathroom. More free-climbing of cliffs. We've got that bad guy from Rogue Nation, who also played the frog monster guy in Prometheus, btw. Rebecca Ferguson is back, Alec Baldwin's back, Simon Pegg's there, and a little bit of Mrs Hunt, Michelle Monaghan, too. We've got everyone but Paula Patton, it seems, and that hurts me, but nothing's perfect. In conclusion, what is your favourite Mission Impossible movie and why is it Ghost Protocol?
Posted by Ocelot on 07 February 2018 - 10:56 PM
Deadpool 2 looks like a good thing:
Jessica Jones season 2... also exists:
I was going to say I wasn't really interested without David Tennant, but then that looks like him coming back from the dead in the end, so I don't know what to think.
EDIT - They forgot to put Venom in this teaser for Tom Hardy's Venom movie:
I get the idea of not giving the whole thing away in a teaser, but I would hope there'd be something to get me excited. This just looks like "Tom Hardy gets experimented on and escapes", which I'm not particularly interested in seeing.
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Posted by Ocelot on 07 February 2018 - 01:41 AM
Oooooh no no no no no, I'm not getting pulled into more TLJ arguments here. I'm Positive Ocelot. Positive Ocelot is happy to let you continue hating your space Minions and your Rian Johnson superposition of leashed corporate lackey and uncontrolled homewrecker. God speed, my friend.
I'm going to be over here working on my forty minute Youtube conspiracy video about how Qi'ra is Rey's mother and Jin Erso's sister and maybe Leia's body double. I'll let you guys know when it's ready.
Also I thought this was nice:
"The funniest Star Wars movie yet". Oooh boy, there are going to be meltdowns over this
Posted by Ocelot on 06 February 2018 - 09:02 PM
Positive Ocelot says that, hey, if you count up all the good episodes of Game of Thrones that Benioff and Weiss were in charge of, that's still way more hours of quality screentime than there are Star Wars movies full stop. And, yeah, they were adapting GRRM's writing at the time, and, yeah, once they ran out of GRRM's material the show became a whole different beast, and, yeah, all their characters are ridiculous caricatures of themselves at this point in the show, and they made Arya spend two years fighting blind with a stick and Season 5 was flat out atrocious... OK, it's hard to be Positive Ocelot right now.
At least they're only doing three movies?
D&D may be hacks that have ran the last few seasons of GOT into the ground, but much better someone with a track record like them than another TV director like Rain Johnson that Disney can push around.
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Posted by Ocelot on 05 February 2018 - 08:29 AM
We do in that second full trailer though.
I just meant the first one
Yeah, he seems fine. To me like 99.9% of Han Solo is Harrison Ford's performance; as a character there's nothing more to him than 'scoundrel with a heart of gold, and also flies planes good', but Ford was such a one in a million moviestar that he turned him into one of human history's favourite dudes. I wouldn't want to be the guy following in his footsteps, but then I don't expect any miracles either. Alden Ehrenreich will have some fun, we'll have some fun, someone's going to start a petition to have Disney remove the movie from canon; it'll be a Star War.
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Posted by Ocelot on 04 February 2018 - 08:43 PM
ALRIGHT, BABY. It's time for MOVIE STUFF!
Avengers teaser (I'm not happy about Cap having a replacement shield that he can't throw. Harrumph):
Full trailer for Mission: Impossible - Fallout (this movie looks straight up incredible! Like oh my God are you seeing this? WATCH THIS TRAILER, PEOPLE!):
The Cloverfield Paradox, aka the third movie after Cloverfield and 10 Cloverfield Lane is out NOW. On Netflix. Like, the whole movie. Now. You can watch it. Holy crap:
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (I've got nothing for this one):
Posted by Ocelot on 01 February 2018 - 11:38 PM
If I post enough smart-sounding things people will look the other way when I post things like this: DAISY HAS BLONDE HAIR NOW OMG SHE'S SO PRIDDDYYYYY
btw I'm reading this EU novel called Bloodline, the one with Leia as the main character in the leadup to The Force Awakens. Young Ben is already off training with Luke, and Han is training some up-and-coming podracers somewhere, while Leia is on a diplomatic mission paired up with this smarmy young neo-nazi Empire sympathiser Senator who she hates. I'm enjoying it so far (there was a great passage where Leia just eviscerates that dude when he tries to claim the Rebellion was a terrorist group), so we'll see how it goes. I ended up really souring on that new Thrawn book by the end, but I liked the one about Phasma and Lost Stars was fine.
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Posted by Ocelot on 27 January 2018 - 12:44 AM
Posted by Ocelot on 25 January 2018 - 06:09 AM
I thought this was pretty neat: First-party Microsoft games are going to be free, day one, with the Xbox Game Pass, which is their equivalent of the EA Access Vault, i.e. video game Netflix. The first game will be Sea of Thieves in March, with State of Decay 2 and Crackdown 3 confirmed coming in the future. They also say that their next Halo, Forza and Gears of Wars will follow the same pattern, which is pretty remarkable. Game Pass is $10 a month, so it seems like a no-brainer; as long as you know you're going to buy two first-party XB1 games a year it pays for itself. I guess you could even just subscribe for one month at a time and play your $60 for a whole month for only $10 if you wanted. I'd probably blast through a new Halo campaign for $10 on day one.
Crystal Dynamics' game based on The Avengers is being developed by "Veterans from Naughty Dog, Visceral Games, Monolith, Sledgehammer Games and More", which sounds great. What sounds less great is:
“As development progresses, our studio continues to grow. The tremendous progress we’ve made on The Avengers project further drives us toward our goal of crafting something all Marvel fans will be proud of, and will play for years to come. We can’t wait to show you what we mean in the future.”
I don't want to be a Debbie Downer and immediately jump to the worst conclusion, but given the current video game climate, that sounds a whole lot like a Destiny-style Games as a Service infinite grind never-ending loot-box-'em-up to me. I swear to God if they're just making a first person shooter set in the Avengers universe where you don't actually play as an Avenger...
Finally, there's a website up for the Bayonetta Switch ports, with a few videos (not really HQ enough to spot any graphical or performance differences from the Wii U versions), and some information on Amiibo support (sounds like unlockable themed costumes with the Bayonetta ones and the bigger Nintendo characters, with a few unlockable weapons, too). Hopefully we'll see some more details closer to release (though I can't pretend I'm not buying these no matter what ).
EDIT - Huh. Epic is shutting down Paragon on April 26th, and giving every player a full refund of their purchase price and any microtransactions they've bought.
After careful consideration, and many difficult internal debates, we feel there isn’t a clear path for us to grow Paragon into a MOBA that retains enough players to be sustainable.We didn’t execute well enough to deliver on the promise of Paragon. We have failed you -- despite the team’s incredibly hard work -- and we’re sorry.To try to make this right, Epic is offering a full refund to every Paragon player for every purchase on any platform. This refund will come directly from Epic rather than your platform provider.
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Posted by Ocelot on 24 January 2018 - 09:19 PM
Also, what's the leak policy here? Can we post the leaked Han Solo movie pics/descriptions or talk about them?
Couldn't hurt to post them in spoiler tags, as long as we make sure to clearly mark them as leaks. I haven't really been following it; has there been anything new since the Lego sets leaked?
Hopefully the Disney marketing engines will spool up before long and we'll have some official stuff to talk about. I'm guessing there'll be a trailer whenever the Superbowl is.
EDIT - Sorry, you guys, I just found the ultimate Star Wars meme so I have to lock the topic forever now:
Posted by Ocelot on 24 January 2018 - 08:50 PM
I mean, I kind of wanted to see Luke do something like that, but whatever, I guess I'll just have to be content with this.
mrw someone implies that Luke's big moment in The Last Jedi isn't the most perfect thing ever:
^ My new favourite gif there is from a little snipped of one of the TLJ deleted scenes from this video on the official Star Wars YT channel, btw. You can see it at about 3:55ish:
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