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#2101 Randomman96

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Posted 09 April 2018 - 08:29 AM

I think this movie looks pretty cool you guys. I liked the part where he said he had a good feeling about this :P

 

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#2102 Ocelot

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Posted 09 April 2018 - 09:54 PM

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#2103 Phaedrus

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Posted 09 April 2018 - 11:12 PM

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Ah man, ya had me going there. I really thought it was Jedi Master Yarael Poof...

#2104 Florent

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Posted 10 April 2018 - 08:10 AM

I got it wrong and now I feel like a sleazebaganno


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#2105 Ocelot

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Posted 13 April 2018 - 11:01 PM

Attention all: this thread is now about your new favourite Star Wars character:

 

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Please cease all unnecessary talk about other Star Wars characters and storylines immediately. All SSLF members should familiarise themselves with Therm Scissorpunch's Wookieepedia article.

 

At some point, Scissorpunch sat at a gambling table next to the famous smuggler Lando Calrissian.

 



#2106 Lord_Capulet

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 08:21 PM

Egads, you're right, Ocelot!  I haven't seen a character this critical to both lore and marketing since Orrimarko's pruny face first appeared!  Hopefully this guy is here to do more than fix the copier.  (That's a reference to Robot Chicken, only look that up if you're old enough. Yes, that means you.)

 

The next question is, what critical role will the mighty Therm Scissorpunch take in the Star Wars universe?  Comic relief?  An epic fight scene?  BOTH?!?  Only time will tell, but with a name that epic, I have only the highest hopes for this character.


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#2107 Randomman96

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Posted 28 April 2018 - 03:32 PM

Leaving this here:

 


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#2108 Spark

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Posted 25 May 2018 - 04:50 PM

So....

 

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#2109 Ocelot

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Posted 26 May 2018 - 09:34 AM

I thought Solo was pretty good! Nothing amazing, but basically just what I'd hoped: a fun movie about scoundrels betraying eachother and getting up to mischief. It's got some really enjoyable bits, and some bits that are a kind of dumb (one bit that's very dumb) and sometimes it's a little boring, but overall it's an enjoyable thing that I liked and will probably watch again. This movie shies away from the plot plot plot nature of Rogue One and hews closer to the numbered Episodes in terms of focusing on characters and writing, and I think it's much better for it. Woody Harrelson and Donald Glover steal the show, but pretty much everyone in the movie is at least likable enough to keep you engaged, and I found myself more upset about the deaths of extremely minor characters here than I did about literally anyone from Rogue One :P

 

It doesn't really feel chopped to pieces in that weird way Rogue One did, either. Like I said, it's nothing exceptional, but it doesn't feel like a movie that had two different directors and needed an acting coach for its main star. Sometimes it's a little uneven, but just in a normal mediocre, B-movie-ish kind of way, not in a 'six months of reshoots' kind of way. That workmanlike Ron Howard touch, I guess; nobody's ever going to call Ron Howard a film-making genius, but he knows how to cobble a movie together.

 

If you're still staunchly against the idea of this movie existing, then it's not really going to do anything to change your mind. This is just Disney cashing another billion dollar Star Wars cheque, after all. Alden Ehrenreich was never going to fill Harrison Ford's shoes, but as long as you aren't going in their as a tiresome internet bro critiquing every moment of his performance he's a totally fine scoundrel-in-the-making (too late, Ocelot: everyone is going to be a tiresome internet bro about every Star Wars movie from here on out). It's good. I liked it. But let me tell you about this really dumb bit, though:

 

Spoiler



#2110 Ocelot

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Posted 29 May 2018 - 12:23 AM

So I was going to make a post about Solo has apparently been a huge bomb (or at least what counts as a bomb for a Star Wars movie), but when I went Googling for a good, trustworthy article to use as a link, LITERALLY ALL I FOUND WAS HOT TAKES!

 

"Why Solo was destined to be the worst-performing live-action Star Wars film"

"Why that Solo: A Star Wars cameo is the best thing in the movie"

"'Solo: A Star Wars Story' Is Less Painful Than It Should Be"
"Is 'Solo: A Star Wars Story' overhyped?"
 
This is what Google's News tab spits out in this year of our lord 2018. Information is dead, hot takes are the future. Oh, wait, let me rephrase that:
 
Top Ten Reasons Why It's Impossible to Know Things Any More, Or How Millennials Are Killing Knowledge! (You Won't Believe #7!)
 
Yeah, so apparently Solo only made a hundred and fifty million bucks over the weekend, and I don't follow box office numbers but apparently that's pretty bad. Like, 'not going to make a profit' bad. Like, 'boy you done screwed up by losing money on a Star Wars movie' bad. I said before that I think the movie's pretty good, so I don't think the actual quality of the product is the problem (though who even knows in this world where someone's always ready to shout that every new Star Wars movie is worse than the Prequels), but releasing this one so soon after The Last Jedi seems like a really bad idea, at the very least.


#2111 El Taco

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Posted 29 May 2018 - 04:08 AM

Can someone who saw this movie post some spoilers on what came of Scissorpunch guy? This is my price of admission deciding factor we're talking here.

 

Also yeah, wow, I was only barely aware of this movie outside of D. Glover's involvement until last week and then it was like oh hey apparently that movie's coming out Friday? Feels like this one must have been pretty lazily promoted or something...I won't claim to really have my ear to the ground but I'm inclined to say that someone was supposed to make sure me and everyone akin to me would hear and care more about the new Star Wars movie,


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#2112 Florent

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Posted 29 May 2018 - 09:31 AM

Scissorpunch either isn't in the movie at all, or he's just a cantina alien. Never named or given screen time.

 

 

I want to delete Star Wars from the internet. Not from reality, just from the internet. Twitter is currently on fire because of how hot these takes are. Movie theaters are collapsing as I speak. An anthology spinoff of a popular series ONLY MADE $100,000,000! The collapse of hollywood is at hand.

 

My particularly cold-take is that Star Wars has always had issues of weird pacing, bad acting, generic script, and predictable storylines. I kinda figured that's why people liked Star Wars. It's a  pop throwback to the pulpy adventures from back in the day. Ocelot you posted a while back about how the space worm in ESB is technically a pointless scene, and if it were in a modern movie people would be flipping their keyboards. Well guess what, I like pointless scenes. Solo is a movie of pointless scenes. Pointlessly fun scenes. Like Guardigans of the Galaxoid or Indiana Jones (or Star Wars), it's just an adventure romp with shallow characters, a predictable story, and fun exciting action scenes.

 

I have yet to hear a legitimate complaint about TLJ or Solo. It ususally comes down to "I'm mad that women are in/in charge of Star Wars". Remember Lucasfilm under George Lucas? It sucked. Hard. Star Wars was awful for the past decade under good old Georgie's careful supervision. 

 

The truth is nothing in TLJ, Solo, TFA, or even Rogue One is nearly as bad as Dexter Jettster. Or the Obi/Anikan snoozefight in Revenge of the Sith. Or the Ewoks. Or the second Death Star. Kathlenn Kennedy brought this series out of the dumpster and back into the realm of "movies I want to see" and can get excited about.

 

Could it be better? Heck yea. Solo is far from perfect (L3 is maybe the worst Star Wars character since Jar Jar IMO) but it's a HELL of a lot better than anything to come out of Lucasfilm between the years of 1980-2015. 3 years of fun summer movies, 45 years of garbage, 3 years of pretty good summer movies. Thank you for bring Star Wars back, Kathleen. George, I hope you get over your ex-wife leaving you and finally release the movie she fixed for you.

 

My cold take got real hot there at the end. Sorry.

 

Spoiler

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#2113 Ocelot

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Posted 30 May 2018 - 12:50 AM

My particularly cold-take is that Star Wars has always had issues of weird pacing, bad acting, generic script, and predictable storylines. I kinda figured that's why people liked Star Wars. It's a  pop throwback to the pulpy adventures from back in the day. Ocelot you posted a while back about how the space worm in ESB is technically a pointless scene, and if it were in a modern movie people would be flipping their keyboards. Well guess what, I like pointless scenes. Solo is a movie of pointless scenes. Pointlessly fun scenes. Like Guardigans of the Galaxoid or Indiana Jones (or Star Wars), it's just an adventure romp with shallow characters, a predictable story, and fun exciting action scenes.

 

A few days ago I awoke to see that Youtube's inscrutable recommendation algorithm had served me up a video entitled "Why The Last Jedi is a Complete Cinematic Failure", and it made me wonder, do people just not know how to watch movies any more? Has CinemaSins and every other copycat "Everything wrong with ____" Youtube channel successfully replaced all genuine criticism with numbered lists of hashtag "GOTCHA!"s?

 

I feel like we've reached the point where, to a significant portion of the audience, the objective is no longer to watch the movie but to fight the movie. It's going to come at you swinging, but you've gotta bob and weave, son. Bob and weave. It'll throw an emotional scene at you, but you've gotta slip that! Head movement! It'll come at you with humour, but don't let it get to you! That's MARVEL HUMOUR; not funny! It'll try to make you care about it's characters, but you're too smart for that! They did something dumb a couple of scenes ago, so you don't care about them at all! It'll try to tell you a story, but DON'T LET THEM TRICK YOU! If you, the omniscient moviegoer, can think of a better plan than the characters in the movie did, then it's a PLOT! HOLE! and it invalidates the entire production. Follow these simple steps to win every movie watching encounter you ever have.

 

I mean, people were not always like this. People want to be all doom and gloom and say, ugh, modern movies have gone downhill, but the truth is movies are the same as they've always been and tiresome Redditors are just getting more and more obtuse. There is no movie ever made that could hold up to the kind of withering scrutiny people have leveled against The Last Jedi over the last few months, except maybe something like Primer, which was written by an actual engineer and is 100% impenetrable to anyone who just wants to watch a movie and, y'know, enjoy it. Star Wars is a series that has, from day one, regularly relied on hallucinations, magic premonitions, deus ex machinas or just plain coincidence to get characters where they need to be for the next scene to happen. I genuinely don't know how some of these "TLJ is the worst movie ever" people have ever enjoyed any of these movies.

 

And I want to make it clear that I'm not complaining about those movies when I say that. It's OK when things just happen for the sake of it in movies. It's OK when characters make decisions that aren't based on cold logic alone. Obi Wan Kenobi's ghost appearing out of nowhere to tell Luke where to go for his subplot in the movie is fine! We're not building a boat here; it's OK if the script lets a little bit of water in. I feel like the vast majority of movie plots throughout history have just been scrawled on the back of napkins in Hollywood cafes, or literally worked out in the editing room after the movie had finished shooting. Nobody writes a script and then gives it to their insufferable neckbeard cousin for an "UH, ACTUALLY..." editing pass to see which characters should have done something different in any given scene ("ALL OF THEM, IN EVERY SCENE") and which exposition scenes contradict pre-existing lore ("ALSO ALL OF THEM, MOVIE'S TRASH").

 

I don't think The Last Jedi is above criticism. I think there are totally valid complaints to be made about it being overlong and messy in spots. Did it need a CGI animal/hoverbike chase? Probably not, if we're being honest. But if you're going to come at me with a "Why didn't they just...", or any sentence that includes the word "plothole", then I'm out, baby. If these last few years of Disney-owned Star Wars has taught me anything, it's that I am DONE-ZO with every last bit of that. You bozos can knock yourselves out writing lists of gotchas for your r/tiresomenitpicking buddies; I don't want to know about it. Keep working yourselves up into frenzies over that hack Kathleen Kennedy, a woman with a resume so impressive you could reasonably argue she's one of the most successful producers ever to work in the industry. By all means, continue living in your dream world where Lucasfilm made TLJ as a personal attack on you and everything you liked when you "were" a child; I'm going to retreat into my dream world where grown men didn't get violently upset at this children's movie because Luke Skywalker's final act was to use the Force for peace rather than to murder a bunch of men with his sword and then throw an AT-AT around.

 

WHOOO, talk about them hot takes, right? That got a little bit nasty, but if it helps... I don't know, just pretend I didn't type it, because I'm not sorry :P



#2114 Florent

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Posted 30 May 2018 - 05:35 AM

Ocelot u have no idea the amount of catharsis your posts give me sometimes.

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#2115 El Taco

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Posted 30 May 2018 - 11:36 AM

'Scissorpunch either isn't in the movie at all, or he's just a cantina alien. Never named or given screen time.' 

See this is what I need articles on, cause if the internet is literally only people trying to defend The Last Jedi as post-modern Star Wars vs. the Shapiro/Pederson let's-pretend-we-don't-deserve-depression-club, the Star Wars talk around me has veered pretty far from the actually important 'tell me how much stimulating things there actually are in this film for my eyes.

 

Phantom Menace at least had podracing and that last lightsaber fight. I pretty much forget TLJ post-bombing run so I guess the bombing run scene was alright but seriously I wanna know for the price of admission how much I-won't-spend-the-film-wondering-why-I'm-watching-the-film-time I'm gonna get cause Rogue One's been the only one above fifty-percent since Return of the Jedi and Scissorpunch was our hope for the great equalizer that is Star Wars spin-off films.

 

Lando Gambino can wait til I can watch this movie for free I guess. Why did any of us pay attention when they revived Star Wars again? Why couldn't we as a world just all agree they had their shot...


Edited by El Taco, 30 May 2018 - 11:44 AM.

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#2116 Sephsekla

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Posted 30 May 2018 - 12:33 PM

Ocelot, you always manage to perfectly sum it all up.

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#2117 Ocelot

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Posted 30 May 2018 - 08:21 PM

See this is what I need articles on, cause if the internet is literally only people trying to defend The Last Jedi as post-modern Star Wars vs. the Shapiro/Pederson let's-pretend-we-don't-deserve-depression-club, the Star Wars talk around me has veered pretty far from the actually important 'tell me how much stimulating things there actually are in this film for my eyes.

 

Phantom Menace at least had podracing and that last lightsaber fight. I pretty much forget TLJ post-bombing run so I guess the bombing run scene was alright but seriously I wanna know for the price of admission how much I-won't-spend-the-film-wondering-why-I'm-watching-the-film-time I'm gonna get cause Rogue One's been the only one above fifty-percent since Return of the Jedi and Scissorpunch was our hope for the great equalizer that is Star Wars spin-off films.

 

Lando Gambino can wait til I can watch this movie for free I guess. Why did any of us pay attention when they revived Star Wars again? Why couldn't we as a world just all agree they had their shot...

 

It's pretty good in terms of just being a movie you can sit down and watch. I'd probably give it a solid 7/10 on the "Is something exploding/pew-pew-ing at any given moment" meter. Nobody tried to reinvent the wheel with this thing; it's just a movie about Han Solo getting up to mischief with his friends/enemies.

 

Therm Scissorpunch is just in the background of that one scene, but there was this cool little green fish dude in a jar of formaldehyde or something who sang bass in a two-piece lounge act alongside a human singer. He was my favourite new Star Wars dude.



#2118 El Taco

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Posted 31 May 2018 - 02:01 PM

Oh man lounge fish band are exactly the words I needed to hear how did you do that

 

EDIT: Yeah actually I'm gonna embelish on my point a little bit. I guess my thing is that the MCU superhero movies have often disappointed me cause too many of them try to ride on the fact that they are superhero movies and not that in addition to that they should be a decent action/drama/mystery or whatever right? I don't just want to be force-fed fanservice, none of that has ever meant anything to me cause I didn't read the comics right? So unless the superheroes on-screen are doing COOL things and the hand to hand fighting is like KINDA GOOD or maybe the visuals are at least VERY STIMULATING TO ABSORB cause they're COLOURFUL or whatever I don't know why I'm expected to care cause I just don't have the context.

And I do have the context for Star Wars and that maybe makes me care even less cause I couldn't bring myself to watch TFA or TLJ more than once, cause I felt they coasted on being star wars movies more than they were like, good movies for being action/adventure/mystery whatever. Way too nostalgic. Too much fanservice/anti-fanservice? I don't know. But I know people in this thread probably feel those movies DO do well as stand-alone films in that regard and I respect that but I just didn't feel that come through as much as I did in the OT or in Rogue One. But I feel like Ocelot knows what I'm talking about when he says Solos watchability so I'm probably sold. 


Edited by El Taco, 31 May 2018 - 02:10 PM.

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#2119 Dalton Westmoore

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Posted 01 June 2018 - 02:56 PM

But I know people in this thread probably feel those movies DO do well as stand-alone films in that regard and I respect that but I just didn't feel that come through as much as I did in the OT or in Rogue One.

 

I think that Rouge One was the perfect combination of the awesome visuals of the OT and the emotionless acting of the Prequels. :P

 

My two cents is that I think that the tone of most Star Wars films have stayed the same (i.e. Cheesy Sci-fi flicks), which is why I enjoy the OT, Prequels, and sequel films equally. Some of them are better than others though, but I think that the Last Jedi got the short end of the stick with the neckbearded fanboys that weren't happy that it didn't follow their fan theory. I do have problems with all the wasted potential that is in the film (you know what I'm talking about if you've seen it), but it wasn't enough that I walked out of the theater angry.

 

I'm reserving judgement on Solo until I see it. What I'm expecting to see (and hope I do see) is Han going on a bunch of different adventures, kind like Cowboy Bebop.

 

EDIT: Speaking of fan theories, and on an unrelated note, I think Dan Harmon brings up a good point about them.



#2120 Ocelot

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Posted 03 June 2018 - 03:17 AM

And I do have the context for Star Wars and that maybe makes me care even less cause I couldn't bring myself to watch TFA or TLJ more than once, cause I felt they coasted on being star wars movies more than they were like, good movies for being action/adventure/mystery whatever. Way too nostalgic. Too much fanservice/anti-fanservice? I don't know. But I know people in this thread probably feel those movies DO do well as stand-alone films in that regard and I respect that but I just didn't feel that come through as much as I did in the OT or in Rogue One. But I feel like Ocelot knows what I'm talking about when he says Solos watchability so I'm probably sold. 

 

Yeah, I totally get it, but I obviously don't feel the same way about TFA and TLJ :P

 

Hey, so here's something: I don't know if I'm just naive, or more optimistic than I give myself credit for, but everyone on the internet has declared the droid L3 from Solo to be some kind of depiction (either a positive or a negative one, depending who you ask) of SJWs and SJW culture, and I genuinely didn't get that. Like, it honestly never occurred to me. I just thought she was... y'know, generically awful, with no ulterior motive or anything. I thought some of the stuff they did with her and Lando was funny in a weird, gross-out, "How does that even work?" kind of way, but then they did that baffling comedy skit where they were... like, making a "I can't pee when you're watching" joke about her cutting through a fence? Who wrote that? Why did that stay in the movie? What?

 

So, yeah, I thought she was bad, but then I make the mistake of looking at the ol' internet, source of all my misery, and I find out that, oh, she was actually an AGENT OF THE FEMINIST AGENDA SENT BY HACK KATHLEEN KENNEDY GRRR WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF US POOR OPPRESSED WHITE MEN and I was brought crashing back to Earth. I mean she's obviously a sendup of an activist of some kind, but I don't know why people have decided it's feminism and not civil rights or gay rights or worker's rights. I mean, I do know (because she's voiced by a woman and everyone on Reddit hates women), but I like to pretend that I don't know that.

 

Similarly, when I watched The Force Awakens I think my thought process was "I love Rey and I love Finn and I love Poe and I love Kylo Ren. Oh, they're doing another Death Star? Well, that's a shame, but I'm still groovin'". Then I go online and I guess I was wrong because it was actually a SHOT FOR SHOT REMAKE OF A NEW HOPE BUT WITH A FEMINIST MARY SUE THIS TIME. And then I watched The Last Jedi and I thought "OMG Kylo's pecs. Are Rey and Kylo going to kill eachother? Are Rey and Kylo going to kiiiiiiss eachother? OMG Luke is there and this is the best thing. Wait, Luke wasn't there and the best thing just got bester!". And then, of course, I was wrong again, because the movie is actually WORSE THAN THE PREQUELS THEY RUINED LUKE AND ALSO DON'T YOU HATE WOMEN? WILL THERE NEVER AGAIN BE A MOVIE THAT I, A WHITE MAN, CAN ENJOY?

 

Basically what I'm getting at is that I thought The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi were great standalone movies, and I thought they were great as continuations of those other Star Wars movies I like. I don't think either of them leaned especially hard on nostalgia, whereas I think Rogue One definitely did, and Solo kind of rode the line for the most part but then jumped way over it with that visit from our old friend at the end.

 

Warning: spoiler tags may contain scorching hot take:

Spoiler

 

Anyway, I kind of lost track of what I was saying there, so to sum things up: blah blah blah women are good blah blah Rogue One was trash blah.

 

EDIT - By the way, one of the videos Youtube recommended for me today was "How Comedy KILLED The Last Jedi". 

 

EDIT - Here's a cat that looks like Kylo Ren:

 

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