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Member Since 07 Apr 2008
Offline Last Active Today, 06:05 AM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Keighley of the Year/SSLF's GOTY/Things We Liked/DMC5 Thread

Yesterday, 06:58 PM

The "Waiting For Ocelot To Review It So Your Opinion Can Be Validated" Award:

Astral Chain


I promise I'm going to! I really want to finish Astral Chain and Death Stranding before the end of the year, but I took a break from DS because it was murdering my PS4, and Astral Chain kind of fell by the wayside when I put the Fire Emblem Three Houses cartridge into my Switch and then didn't take it out again for like three months. Speaking of...


Most Unexpected Game That Took Over My Entire Life: Fire Emblem Three Houses


Where did this come from? Why did I buy a turn-based strategy/waifu simulator in the first place, and, next question, why did I love it? I played eighty hours of this thing this year, which was only enough to complete one of the THREE-ISH, KINDA FOUR campaigns on offer, and I genuinely want to go back and play through the other ones. I started an Edelgard run immediately after finishing my first playthrough with Punished Dimitri, and I'm itching to get back to it. I've never played a Fire Emblem before this, didn't follow this one at all, hadn't even seen so much as a trailer, but I bought it on a whim after hearing some interesting stuff about it on a podcast and now here we are. I'm pretty sure this is going to be my runner-up GOTY for 2019. How did this happen?


Game Where It Feels The Best To Kill A Dude: Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice


So I loved Jedi Fallen Order, but one thing its very Sekiro-inspired combat system makes clear is just how important visual and audio feedback is to a sword-based combat system. Fallen Order is a wonderful game, but it isn't the best about telling you when you're successfully hitting a guy, or when that guy is hitting you. Sometimes you'll be bonking away at a fellow with your lightsabre, only to have him block your combo and starting hitting you, and you won't realise it for a second or two because it's all just kind of a blur of snap-hiss-crackle noises.


But Sekiro? Oh boy, Sekiro. I can still hear that game ringing in my ears. Sekiro's combat has such distinctive audio design to it that you can almost play it with your eyes closed; sword-clashes, enemy barks, music, and this booming CRASH you get when finally break an enemy's posture entirely and can go in for the kill. The game has clearly defined sound effects for a badly-timed parry, an OK parry and a perfect parry, so defending is almost more fun than attacking, and the RUSH of endorphins you get when you finally land that last deathblow on the FOURTH phase of a hard-as-nails final bossfight is just incredible.


Sekiro also has this thing called the Mikiri Counter, where any time an enemy does a lunging, thrusting or charging attack at you you can hit the B button to just stomp the tip of their weapon into the ground, and it's the most wonderfully disrespectful thing. Just UNGH, have a bit o' that, mate. That's what I think of you. UNGH.

In Topic: The Movie News and John Wick Appreciation Thread

10 December 2019 - 08:00 AM

Wonder Woman 1984 looks good. I like that they're coming up with a distinct fighting style for her, all about big ol' sweeping kicks right past the camera lens and some rope dart stuff with her lasso:



And some Netflix Witcher character trailers with some new footage:




They're doing hunchback Yen, the madmen!

In Topic: The Video Game News Thread

10 December 2019 - 07:29 AM

Sony's latest Nintendo Direct was a banger:



- Untitled Goose Game is coming to PS4

- Babylon's Fall gameplay out of nowhere. It.... basically just looks like a P* game, to be honest. Still seems very early in development, and they don't have anything more to show until 'next Summer'.

- Capcom bamboozled us into thinking that Project REsistance was a standalone game, when it's actually just the multiplayer component ooooof... Resident Evil 3 Remake, coming April 2020!

- Ghost of Tsushima hasn't been canceled or pushed back to the PS5. They just showed a snippet of the full trailer that'll be at the Keighleys in a couple of days, though.

In Topic: moving Wicktures that you are watching: John Wick 3 Edition

10 December 2019 - 06:34 AM

Let's talk about Knives Out, you guys. Long story short: it's an absolute 10/10, movie of the year, I love it and you should definitely see it.



OK, short story long: What a fabulous movie! I can't even remember the last time I saw a new, non-remake Whodunnit. It's like a totally lost art form, which is such a shame because they're so fun. Here we have Daniel Craig playing Southern Gent- I say Southern Gentleman private detective Benoit Blanc, hired to investigate the mysterious 'suicide' of wealthy mystery writer Harlan Thrombey after an eventful party earlier that evening. The deceased was the patriarch of an entire multi-generational clan of Thrombeys, all of whom have a motive, most of whom had both the means and the opportunity. The police want to rule it a suicide, but we know it ain't gonna be that simple.


Knives Out is a feast of clever writing, hilarious performances from a cast of absolute gems, the kind of gorgeous house porn that would make a House Hunters fan weak at the knees, and one central, driving mystery that still has my mind whirring hours later. It's that perfect kind of movie where every scene drips with subtext, every line of the script is steering you towards something, and even though you know you're being played and you're trying to outsmart the movie like a proper whodunnit fan, it's still gonna getcha. Like a well-oiled machine, boys and girls.


Have I mentioned it's a 10/10 yet? It's 2 hours and 10 minutes and it genuinely felt like 90 minutes. This movie sings. I want to see it again like yesterday. I want three dozen more Benoit Blanc mysteries. I loved it. GOTY 2019.

In Topic: The Pokemon Thread

09 December 2019 - 12:55 AM

I don't want to speak too soon here, but I'm eight gyms in now and unless the endgame is absolutely mindblowing, this is the worst mainline Pokemon game. By far. Like, comically so. It honestly feels like playing Chapter 2 of Metal Gear Solid V, where it's crystal clear that something went wrong during development and they just did not have the time or money to finish the game.


I knew something was up when I hit Gym 4 and realised that the story still hadn't started yet. Despite the constant interruptions from NPCs who stand directly in your path so they can stop you and tell you to go exactly where you were already going, there's just... there's no story here. Every now and then you'll hear a giant explosion or crash off in the distance, and the NPC crew will rush off to investigate it, but you aren't allowed to see what it is. You just have to keep shuffling from city to city, beating gyms while the story happens off-screen. Now I've beaten all eight Gyms and the story STILL hasn't started yet. More off-screen explosions that everyone but me gets to see. Some kind of ancient mystery of the region that Sonia is investigating on her own. Instances of Pokemon mysteriously Dynamaxing all on their own, which the Champion is sorting out without my help. Oh, things are happening, it's just that I don't get to be involved in any of them. This game is like playing Mass Effect from the perspective of that N7 wannabe guy who just meets Shepard a couple of times but doesn't actually take part in the adventure.


Even the Gyms themselves peter out pathetically by the end. The seventh Gym 'Challenge' is just walking left to right through a straight line 'town' with painted on doorways to buildings you can't enter, fighting four trainers along the way. The eighth Gym? The one you've been waiting for? It doesn't exist. They didn't create assets for it. You get teleported to the nearby museum to have three consecutive Double Battles in one room, then teleported back to the Gym for the final fight in the same generic arena that all the Gyms share. This game is losing steam it barely even had in the first place.


Boy oh boy, you guys. Something has gone drastically wrong with the Pokemon pipeline for them to have cut over half the Pokedex and still released the game in this state.