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#489019 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

Posted by Ocelot on Today, 12:52 AM

BREAKING NEWS: In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Daisy Ridley said that "...this whole Reylo thing" will be addressed in Episode IX:


“It does not bother me, people writing theories,” Ridley said. “It’s really fun hearing them. Plus, because I know what’s sort of going to happen, I think it’ll be really interesting to see people’s reaction to [the final film]. Obviously, there’s this whole Reylo thing and some people are very passionate about it, some aren’t.”

Ridley hinted that the seemingly romantic connection isn’t left unaddressed by director J.J. Abrams in The Rise of Skywalker.

“J.J. does deal with [it],” she added. “It’s a very complex issue. People talk about toxic relationships and whatever it is. It’s no joke and I think it’s dealt with really well because it’s not skimmed over.”








The greatest love story ever told finally reaches its sweaty, hungry, absolutely filthy crescendo in The Rise of Skywalker. You thought Rogue One was the movie that finally put the 'War' in Star WARs? Get ready for the movie that finally puts the R(18+ for graphic sex scenes that may be offensive to some sections of the community) in StaR Wars.





#489011 What Are You Currently Playing?

Posted by Ocelot on 13 October 2019 - 03:38 PM

OK, look, I'm an old man now, and when two games called "The Outer W___lds" release in the same year it's hard for my addled brain to keep them straight :P


The Outer Wilds is the little spaceship exploration one about unraveling a mystery left behind by aliens.


The Outer Worlds is the RPG from Obsidian coming out in a couple of weeks


EDIT - I just got up to Chapter 13 in Fire Emblem Three Houses. Spoilers:




As someone who really had no idea what Fire Emblem... was, at all, before playing this game, learning about Fire Emblem lore on the job is WILD. Like, I thought it was just fairly mundane Western medieval fantasy through the lens of Japanese anime boys, but then people started teleporting, evil wizards showed up, and one time I just got straight up SENT TO THE SHADOW REALM or something. My guy went Super Saiyan and his hair changed colour. A lady just turned into a dragon like it wasn't even a big deal. I love it. At this point I wouldn't even be surprised if someone pulls out a behelit and the world ends.


I've started thinking that maybe I should go back and play some more of these Fire Emblems, but then I realise that I'm essentially only halfway through one of FOUR possible playthrough paths in Three Houses and I could potentially just be playing this game for the rest of my life.

#489008 What Are You Currently Playing?

Posted by Ocelot on 12 October 2019 - 07:42 PM

Do you like The Witness? Fez? Maybe even Myst (although I haven't played that one myself so I'm just taking other people's word for it)? Well, if so, you might be interested in a little game called The Outer Worlds. I really had no idea what to expect from this game before starting it up, and at first I thought it was just a nice little exploration game set in a cute miniature solar system. You have a little spaceship, a handful of planetoids to explore, and very little in the way of guidance or handholding. The game begins with an entirely skippable tutorial designed only to bring you up to speed with the basic mechanics, then gives you a cheeky little hint about maybe digging into this weird trail of ancient technology and peculiar hieroglyphics left behind by a mysterious visiting alien race... but doesn't try to force anything on you. If you just want to wander around a pleasant little toy universe and have some fun with the surprisingly realistic spaceflight and orbital mechanics, you're free to knock yourself out.


But if you do want to jump in on the trail of this mystery, BOY is there a great puzzle waiting for you to piece together! No matter where you go in this solar system, you're going to stumble across cryptic messages, ancient ruins and artefacts, and with a bit of ingenuity and a handy little machine that translates the alien language, you're going to be zipping back and forth from planet to planet finding new stuff, thinking up ingenious ways to access areas you couldn't work out how to get into before, and generally having a 20-ish hour procession of those wonderful "Oh... OOOOOOH!" moments as a spark of inspiration hits you and you just have to dash back to the game to try it out and see if you're as clever as you think you are.


For example, one planet, Giant's Deep, is surrounded by a constant storm of green gas, and punching through that outer atmosphere will reveal a planet entirely covered by ocean and furious tornadoes with just a few tiny islands dotted here and there. The trail of clues from other planets points towards there being a hugely important research lab on a large island at the north pole, but it's surrounded by a giant tornado making it inaccessible. A fellow traveller on the planet hints that you might be able to go under the tornado, but there are strong ocean currents making it impossible to get too deep underwater. So... well, there's not much you can do for now. But poking around on some of the other islands, you'll find a note left behind by one of the alien scientists asking one of their colleagues on a different planet to look into a incident they had where one of their science experiment components inexplicably sank right through the underwater current. Following up on that lead means a trip to another planet, opening up a whole new chapter of your investigation, but eventually you'll learn the secret of breaking through that ocean current, and once you do... MORE MYSTERIES! You can get to the research lab at the north pole, but on your way there you can't help but notice that Giant's Deep's planet core is surrounded by some kind of electrical field that you can't penetrate, and didn't you hear about some component that fell all the way into the core, and aren't you suddenly fascinated by the puzzle of getting down in there?


Ooh it's good. It's just a wonderful exercise in following a trail of clues, coming up with brilliant, lateral-thinking solutions to interesting problems, skirting environmental obstacles, using all the tools you have at your disposal in interesting ways. Like, you have a small gun that launches a camera-equipped probe, which you can use to see what's inside an otherwise inaccessible area. But the probe also has a strong floodlight on it, which can be invaluable in dark spots. But also, the probe has its own HUD element always marking its spot, so maybe if you're in a system of caves and you can't figure out how to get into one particular chamber, you could fire a probe in there and then use that HUD element to keep track of it as you explore other paths. But ALSO ALSO, maybe you could fire that probe into, let's say, some kind of weird gravitational anomaly and see what happens...


My only problem with The Outer Wilds, which is unfortunately a pretty big one for me, is that it can be very finicky and irritating. I like my puzzle games to be all about that breakthrough when you finally work out what you need to do, and less about the actual execution of the puzzle solution being difficult, and Outer Wilds moves towards the latter too often for me. Like there's one planet which is a hollow crust with a big old black hole at the centre, and a few stages of the mystery involve doing some precarious platforming with your spacesuit jump jets where one misstep means falling into the black hole and a lengthy trip back to your starting point again. It's also a game that, for reasons I won't spoil, always has a sense of time pressure to it, so you never feel like you can take your time with it. Some areas of the game are very difficult to get to and will have a huge lore payoff, but you can never spend too long absorbing the information because you always feel hurried. I've ended up referring to walkthroughs pretty often just to check whether I've done everything I can do in a given place because it was really frustrating to get there and I don't want to have to do it again.


But anyway, I really like it all the same. It's going to end up being on my Top 9 Games of 2019 Since DMC5 is Obviously Number 1 list, because even if I don't love it love it, it's still just such a wonderful, clever, creative game and I've really enjoyed my time with it.


Speaking of games I didn't expect to love so much, would you believe it, it's Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I really, really like this game, you guys. I'm up to Chapter 9 now and I finally feel like I'm making good progress and I know what all these systems are about. I looked through all my characters' future classes to see how I want to level them up and I have them all studying the right subjects to get them where I want them, I'm cruising through most battles without too much trouble, and the story is starting to pick up into something really interesting. In the early hours of the game I came very close to just calling it a day and telling myself the game wasn't for me, but I'm so glad I stuck at it. I'm going to try and knock out at least one Chapter a night from here on, because it's taken me way too long to get this far and apparently this is the longest game ever made so I would like to finish it before I die :P


EDIT - YOOOO Three Houses Chapter 10. We Super Saiyan now!

#489007 Scorp's RPG Corner - Pathfinder: Kingmaker is here

Posted by Ocelot on 12 October 2019 - 04:49 AM

Has anyone been keeping an eye on Disco Elysium? It sounds pretty incredible:



It's a dialogue-focused detective RPG where you play as one guy, but your stats take the form of personality traits, and each one of those traits is treated like a traditional RPG party member that lives inside your head. Conversation skill checks are governed by your Lizard Brain, your Empathy, and this video even mentions esoteric stuff like 'Horrific Neck Tie' as a potential character skill. But, digging further down, your STATS HAVE PERSONALITIES, their own likes and dislikes, and will argue with eachother as you're trying to get your RPGing done.


It comes out on October 15th and I'm really interested to hear some impressions of the full game, because it seems like the most interesting take on RPG-ery in a while.

#489002 What Are You Currently Playing?

Posted by Ocelot on 05 October 2019 - 04:21 PM

lol, I'm sorry. I'm playing in Japanese and it's one of those games where some names are just exact translations between the English and Japanese scripts and others are completely different so I don't know what anything's called. I'm doing the blue house, with and I'm pretty happy with my choice. My boys and girls are a good bunch: (just taking a guess at the English names) Dmitri the MVP, Dudu the unstoppable tank, Silvahn and Felix (aka Dante and Vergil), Mercedes the healer mage, Ingrit the jerry-rigged archer and Annette the cheer squad. Unfortunately I got one of them 'killed' really embarrassingly early on, in like the second battle of the game, when I was still totally bamboozled by all the mechanics and really had no idea what I was doing. RIP... whatever your name was. Young archer guy with short grey hair? He just hangs around in the church now, the lazy git.

#488999 What Are You Currently Playing?

Posted by Ocelot on 05 October 2019 - 05:05 AM

Who's ready for a wall of teeeext?


The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening: That Remake for the Switch: I liked this game. Most of it, at least. This was my first time playing Link's Awakening, and I found it a nice, breezy little Zelda with an enjoyably dark, almost metaphysical bent to the story. Its beginnings as an original Game Boy game are very noticeable, as it's pretty short and straightforward, but I really appreciate a shorter game every now and then. I pretty much steamrolled through the first six dungeons, and then got bogged down in some finicky, irritating puzzle design in the last two which kind of soured me on the whole thing (including a terrible moment where some unnecessary physics on a puzzle element glitched out and didn't register the correct puzzle solution I was trying to execute, leading me to believe it wasn't the correct solution and wasting 20 minutes trying other stuff until eventually retrying my first thought in desperation), but overall it's a good Zelda.


Though I don't know if I'd recommend buying it right now. The framerate is all over the place right now; 60FPS dropping like a stone to 30 and even 20 basically every time you exit a building in a way you can never just 'tune out'. Link is limited to digital 8-way movement, but you're only allowed to control him with the analogue stick; the D-pad does nothing. The game lets you map two subweapons to the X and Y buttons, but the feather that lets you jump is so useful you're going to want it all the time, which means a lot of menu-futzing to switch which other weapon you want to use; meanwhile the L and R buttons and the entire D-pad go totally unused. And, honestly, $60 feels pretty steep for a game of this size. I feel like waiting for a patch and maybe a little Black Friday discount might be the smart move here.


The Outer Wilds: I haven't managed to get too far into this, but I think it's something pretty cool. What originally seemed like a little indie space game about exploring planetoids in a rickety space ship is proving to be a really interesting, almost Myst-like puzzle game. After a quick tutorial, you're left to pilot your one-man craft out into space, and it doesn't take long before you stumble onto the remnants of an ancient, space-faring civilization who've left a delicious trail of clues to some kind of advanced technology that will eventually help you... do something. There's a greater something going on here, and I'm going to find it.


Dead Cells: This game hit Game Pass this month, and I had a really fun hour with it. The character control feels great, the combat is simple and mashy but fun, and it has a lovely pixel art style. Unfortunately, as happens with so many Game Pass game, the penny dropped the first time I died. I guess this is a run-based game, where dying sends you not back to a checkpoint, not even to a bonfire, but back to the very beginning of the game. You lose your weapons, all your upgrades, anything you had on you when you died minus whatever permanent upgrades you managed to find along the way. I appreciate that people like this kind of thing but, man, that's just not what I'm into with video games. Oh well.


Yoku's Island Express: Another Game Pass game, Yoku's Island Express is side-scrolling Metroidvania, but the twist is that instead of combat, it's got pinball. Where other Metroidvanias would give you dudes to pewpew/slice up, Yoku gives you tailor-made pinball arenas, complete with flippers controlled with the left and right triggers, and it's just such a cool idea. You do still unlock your standard Metroidvania upgrades, but the meat of the game is in pinballing. I don't think I'm going to play it start to finish, but I think it'll probably be great to jump into and play an hour of here and there.


Fire Emblem: Three Houses: I'm still plugging away at this. I had a terrible time in the sixth chapter, in a battlefield full of teleport floor tiles that I had to restart four times before I finally got through it, but at this point I feel like I've failed my way to at least kind of knowing what I'm doing now, and I've got my squad to the point where they all have their particular roles in combat and nobody's just a dead weight any more. From the quick peeks I've taken at some online walkthroughs it seems like I'm maybe one quarter of the way through one of the three paths of the game, so... I'm basically nowhere, but hey I'm proud all the same. I think I'm going to actually finish this. Maybe.

#488998 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

Posted by Ocelot on 05 October 2019 - 03:29 AM

I found Prequel and OT versions from the same artist, too:





#488996 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

Posted by Ocelot on 04 October 2019 - 03:49 PM

I don't know what you guys are talking about, that's just how us youthful kids speak in the year 2019 where we definitely aren't turning 30 in a month oh God


Hey forget about that, though, because there's a cool new sequel trilogy poster from artist Brian Rood.



#488993 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

Posted by Ocelot on 04 October 2019 - 03:58 AM

Hey guys what's up it's your boy Ocelot back with another video thanks for supporting the channel these videos wouldn't be possible without viewers like you and Squarespace have you ever wanted to make a website well now you can with MeUndies that's right just go to ZipRecruiter.com now and use the promo code DollarShave to get 10% off your first Casper mattress. Today we're counting down the Top 10 Scenes in THE ENTIRE STAR WARS SAGA yes lol even the Prequels!


Kicking us off with numbers 10 through to 1 iiiiiiiiiis...




That's right. As voted by you, the viewers, it is now 100% official that Adam Driver's tiny head and impossibly large pecs make up the most important, the most powerful, the undisputed greatest parts of our favourite series of movies that we don't actually like because Disney ruined it please come back George Lucas. Do you agree with these rankings? Or do you double agree with them? Make sure to let me know in the comments, and as always remember to like comment subscribe hit the little bell in the corner and check out my Patreon and use the hashtag ReyIsAMarySue to join the conversation on social media or wherever you get your podcasts.

#488991 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

Posted by Ocelot on 02 October 2019 - 08:08 PM

Who is Rey gonna kiss?


Asking the important questions. Allow me to present my professional, extremely-well-researched hypothesis into the matter:




The greatest love story ever told. Rey's massive squatting thighs:




Kylo's massive everything:




They're going to get married and live happily ever after with their enormous, muscular children. All with the last name Skywalker, hence the title of the movie. I cracked the code, you guys.

#488973 What Are You Currently Playing?

Posted by Ocelot on 14 September 2019 - 12:38 AM

I forgot to tell you guys about my new Nintendo Switch. Late last year I sold my old one that I bought back at launch, and this month I bought one of those new ones that has the upgraded battery life. Here's my full, exhaustive review: it's the same as the old one but the battery lasts longer now. Considering I  always leave my Switch in its Dock when I'm not playing it and never played in handheld mode for more than three hours anyway, this isn't exactly a huge deal, but... oh well. I got the grey one this time (my first one was Neon), so that's a nice change, and the left JoyCon fits more snugly on this one (it wobbled a bit on my old one). Also I got a tempered glass screen protector this time, and I managed to get that puppy on with ZERO air bubbles, so I'm pretty happy with that.


But what have I been playing on this new Switch of mine, you ask? Well, let me tell you about a little game called...


Fire Emblem: Three Houses: This may be the most difficult video game experience I've ever had. I am atrocious at strategy games, I don't really have a whole lot of experience with the waifu genre, I've never played a Fire Emblem game before, and here I am trying to jump into all these disparate challenges while playing the whole thing in Japanese. After three-ish years of study, I can pretty much hang with most games in Japanese, but it's always a learning experience when you come across some new genre or theme that you don't know any of the words for. Yakuza ranks and culture in the Yakuza games, law terms in an Ace Attorney game, that kind of thing. Fire Emblem is obviously based on medieval Europe, so to start with I have to learn the Japanese words for describing great houses, lords and ladies, the entire peerage ranking system and all the various lines of succession. Then I have to learn all the medieval battle-related nomenclature, like military ranks, battle formations, knights and infantry and spearmen and cavaliers and such. Then I have to learn all the Fire Emblem-specific stuff, and all the made-up names of empires and kingdoms and realms and all that junk...


What I'm saying is that it's an absolute nightmare, but I'm kinda sorta getting through it. Another spanner in the works is that I find Ye Olde Nipponese very difficult to understand at the best of times, so you add all these things together and you end up with a situation where I baaaarely understand anything that's going on with the story or the characters or even the game mechanics. But, I mean, I'm making it happen. I'm going to keep plugging away at it until I just genuinely can't get any further. I'm up to a point where a bad guy is planning an attack on Hogwarts during an upcoming holy celebration day, and I think I'm doing an at least reasonable job of training and teaching all my students so far. We'll see how it goes.


I've also been playing a bit of Astral Chain, which is looking like a VERY solid contender for Runner-Up Game of the Year 2019 so far. I'm about eight hours in, and the combat system that is unfolding as I progress through the game is so wonderfully original and delightfully fun to play. Much like The Wonderful 101, it's something totally new, so it's taking a while just to wrap my brain around it, but I've had a few fights where I can feel it all coming together and I feel like once I can really make it sing it's going to be amazing. There is so much more to it than I thought from just watching the trailers, and it's all designed so cleverly; it isn't about complex button inputs, but rather using every part of the buffalo that is a pretty simply control scheme. New moves and abilities cascade into and out from eachother in really interesting ways, with a big emphasis on timing and situational awareness that I really love.


I'm also really surprised at how meaty the game is. This ain't your grampappy's 6-8 hour Platinum game; this is a real thicc boi of a game that feels like that sequel to The Wonderful 101 that we're never going to get. Levels are long, with some nice opportunities for exploration and some fun little sidequests, and there's a high-tech police station to explore in your downtime between the main operations where you can catch up with your buds, customise your look and the colour schemes of all your Legion summons (I'm going with W101 colours, of course, so the Sword Legion is blue, the Arrow Legion is Green, and so forth), and just generally have a fun time. The characters are a likable bunch, and I really like the way the story is going so far, too. This is one of very few games I play where I actually want to go and track down and read all the lore of the world.


Oh, and it gives you a camera and it wants you to take pictures of every person, monster and assorted thing that you meet on your journey, so of course I have to do that.

#488971 The Video Game News Thread

Posted by Ocelot on 11 September 2019 - 08:51 PM

It's TGS, boyos! All the Japanese game trailers you weeb losers can eat:


Nioh 2 (coming early 2020):



FFVII Remake (oh my God how are these trailers so HOYPE?)



There's some FFVIIR Remake gameplay, too:



Resident Evil: Project Resistance (a 4 vs. 1 multiplayer escape thing):



Yakuza 7, with its real-time RPG battle system:


#488955 What Are You Currently Playing?

Posted by Ocelot on 04 September 2019 - 12:47 AM

Did I mention that you can fire a rocket in one direction, change your mind, grab it back with your telekinesis and throw it in a different direction? While flying?



#488944 Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

Posted by Ocelot on 29 August 2019 - 10:48 PM



It was real all along.


The most important part of Star Wars canon, i.e. Reylo shipping, is going to be even steamier when Rey is bad and Kylo is good.


EDIT - Leaked footage of Kylo Ren after he turns back to the light side:



#488934 What Are You Currently Playing?

Posted by Ocelot on 27 August 2019 - 03:53 AM

BOOOM! BSHHH KRKSHHH BANG KERPOW! That's the sound of me beating Dark Souls 3, baybee. Come at me. Meet me somewhere. Huh? HUH? Yeah, I thought so.


So I killed all those big bois. Went through the Consumed King's Garden and beat Oceiros, which was a weird fight because he kept screaming about an 'Ocelotte' who I can only assume is my secret female body double or something. The rest of Lothric Castle and the Grand Archives was an excellent level, with a wonderful sense of adventure as I worked my way through an enormous castle filled with scary monsters, cutting in and out through tortuous hidden paths, through all manner of barracks, kitchens, keeps, opening a portcullis or two and even soft-shoe-ing it out on the rooftops and dicing with gargoyles for the final stretch up to the Prince of Lothric's chamber. That has to be one of the best areas in all of Sekiroulsborne. With the exception of the part where you kill a big ol' guy in a suit of armour on a bridge and get a Bonfire, then walk LITERALLY TWENTY SECONDS and get another Bonfire right outside the library. That was bizarre. I've included a helpful visual aid:




I found Archdragon Peak and the Untended Graves with a little help from the internet, too, and I plundered those areas dry, too. Champion Gundyr didn't give me too much trouble, but the Nameless King was definitely the hardest boss in the main game for me. At first I didn't even know if I'd bother with him after getting woefully screwed over by the camera on my first few attempts, but once I took my time with it and worked out that the strat was to keep my distance and run in after the King's attacks to punish his poor dragon's face I was able to get through the first stage without even taking damage pretty reliably. That second stage, though... boy oh boy. That fellow hits hard, and a few of his combo strings have that devious little moment of hesitation before the third or fourth hit that's perfectly timed to nail you if you roll too early. Once I realised that the safest place for me as a melee character was to rub myself right up against his giant torso and always dodge past him, though, I had his number.


After that I went and beat the final boss, which I found pretty anticlimactic after the Nameless King. I beat the Soul of Cinder on my first try and was actually surprised to see he wasn't a three-phase fight. The first two phases went down so easily that I fully expected him to refill his health bar one last time and come at me for reals, but... nope. Oh well, they can't all be big bois. Anyway, that's the entire main game finished, so tomorrow I'm going to start on the DLC. I hear that the DLC bosses are the real big bois, so we'll see how that goes :P